To just want to rest when feeling ill?

[NotYetti]

I'm currently feeling really unwell with nausea. Dp always decides to do deep cleaning/ declutterring when someone in the house is ill. He convinces himself that we are ill because the house needs cleaning.

I clean the house twice a week, kitchen sides wiped daily.

He doesn't want me to help when I'm ill but will huff and puff that he's doing too much even though I say he needn't bother. He then will moan that he's exhausted, probably hinting that I didn't help with the big clean.

When I'm ill I just want to rest and it frustrates me that dp always decides it's the time to sort out the house.

Aibu to not help with this when I feel unwell?

YANBU. Ignore his huffing and get some rest.

That’s madness.YANBU. If you need to rest, rest. He can tidy the house alone if it bothers him so much.

Leave him to it, it’s less you have to do and he is probably staying active instead of hovering and acting all anxious & worried for you.

My DH does a lot of the huff and puff with an odd fuck thrown in at whatever he is cleaning. So I take myself to bed and read a book or watch Netflix on my tablet. I feel properly on bed rest and justified in not helping that way.

It's hard to rest when he's pulling out the contents of a cupboard to sort out what we can get rid of, asking me every few minutes.

I've tried telling him that it will slow my recovery but he still thinks it's necessary.

I understand having some antibac spray for the bathroom and door handles when someone has a sickness bug but decluttering? Why?!

If you have something contagious he's cleaning the stable door after the horse has bolted. So to speak.

Go to bed

I will as soon as I put dc to bed.

you are not unreasonable at all. The best thing he can do is to sit quietly and bring you cups of tea if needed. You need rest. You don’t need smells of cleaning products, noise of vacuum cleaner, opened windows, banging of moving furniture. Don’t help him and don’t feel guilty. Close the bedroom door and relax.

Could you send him for sugar free vanilla flavour liquid paracetamol in 500ml bottles?

Well that’s why he should put anything he wants to get rid off in charity box and a bin box for you to check when you feel better.

Then he won’t need to bother you and you certainly do not need to supervise him.

Sorting cupboards is necessary???? I really feel for you.

I think I'd start being ill every week to get him to muck I'm and wind him up.

Why wait? lol. 😂
If he has the DC he won’t be doing all the he-man cleaning.

Is he a "fixer" who gets annoyed when you tell him about an issue he can't fix and says something like "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Can he come to mine?

Hope you feel better soon

Go up to bed and shut the door. I hate the people that have the “carry on” and “suck it up” attitude towards illness. You are allowed to be ill and you are allowed to rest and do nothing if you don’t feel well.

He can fucking clean to his little grumpy hearts content AFTER he has put the dc to bed, he has no priorities.

Let him put them to bed - go to bed and barricade the door

Rest when ill is important.
Let him clean if he wants to, you take it easy and get well soon, OP 💐

OP, he’s punishing you for being sick. Some twisted people do this, especially narcissists for some reason.
Don’t engage, go to bed xx

I'm intrigued to find out what's in the cupboards that could possibly have made you ill! Surely the parts to clean are the most touched like door handles, light switches, remotes, taps etc.

So he's not cleaning to help, he's just being an unhelpful, passive, aggressive knob.

Get yourself to bed and tell him to do something useful like putting the kids to bed.

Men really are absurd inferior creatures aren't they.

The older I get the more their twattish behaviour irritates me.

Health anxiety by any chance?

How bloody irritating. He needs to put the dc to bed, you need to close the bedroom door and put on Netflix.

He needs to pack it in and give you peace to rest.
What a prick.

Poor blokes can't win - he can come deep clean my house any time

Rest, it's the best way to get better. If he wants to clean that's on him.