More a WWYD - Child's concert or family party

[palmtreesoliveleaves]

My youngest (DS8) has recently joined the choir at school and has been practising at home. He said he was doing a concert but didn't know details when I've been asking him and I figured it would come out in due course as I hadn't already received an email.

Today he's come home telling me i need to contact the school as I should have received an email. He's brought a leaflet home saying the concert is a Saturday night with a brass band and fiddle orchestra..

Normally this would be okay BUT for the first time ever we've arranged to go to DH's family for a Halloween party which is about an hour from us and were planning on staying with some of them and making a weekend of it. We've bought the costumes for the 4 of us, eldest is 11.

We were really looking forward to it as we had a family bereavement last year and this is the first time we've arranged to see the wider family since as all meet ups used to be through the relative who died.

DS who is due to sing says he doesn't want to go to the party now and I know the concert is really important to him. There will be other family parties I guess. It's just a kicker because we honestly rarely do anything and this one time...

It's the right decision yes?

Concert.
The costumes will keep for another year
(With minor alterations in size if needed)

Concert, absolutely, and then join the family party if you can.

Doubt there's a fiddle orchestra, maybe bone up on your musical terms if the lad is interested? 😊

Family party you already said you would go. No different to pulling out to attend a party. There will also be other concerts

Unless DS is a soloist, then I think the prior commitment should take precedence. There’ll be more choir performances, but this party is about maintaining family relationships.

If you are staying the weekend you can do both the concert first and then go to the relatives' house.

Sorry but I’d ditch the concert there will be hundreds but family should come first

Can the 11 year old go to the concert with a friend and sleep over?

At least one parent should take DS to the concert. The party is much less important.

if cars are an issue, find a lift or get a cab. I am sure you can make it work if you put your mind to it.

The concert. It wouldn’t even be a question for me, I will always prioritise my children.
Given the update that your eldest didn't even want to go to the party, then problem solved.

If the family thing is weekend event go to the concert then travel to them and have the other day with them

If you and DS can't get a train, assuming DH takes older DS, could DH pick you up from the concert and drive you all over together? You will be late, but it won't be over by 10:30.
Or you and younger DS go to the concert and then go over to family the following day by public transport. You'd miss the party, but get to spend the day with family.

Husband takes the kids to the concert. You have a weekend away and chill out with your family. They can join you on Sunday if they want.

Concert. Every time.

But, you don't both need to go. So, one takes ds to the concert and then drives up to the party afterwards.

You'll get this more and more in the future. I always think, if it's a concert or a competition/match which they've practiced for, they should go.

Concert as it's what he's been praticing for

But I would find out where /when he sings and hopefully early on and can sneak off after and then party

The others go to the party - drop off early if need be like 2/3 and drive back for concert and then drive back again

Which is a lot of fluffing and driving

Or

Dad and other child go to party via train and ask relatives to pick up from station

And you then drive after singing /concert

Schools /companies should give lots of notice for things like this

I know it's annoying.

We have a gym comp and was told be either sat or sun. It's in 2w and got told last night it's the Saturday

Not quite the same but did mean had to keep both days free till we knew

Oh I was focusing on the logistics of the concert.
Wasn’t suggesting a mum friend drives them to family do .

Complain to school about lack of communication. Someone will be disappointed

The very first thing I would be doing would be to find out exactly what they will be doing, and at what time.

Too often did I sit in concerts, where my child had like 5 minutes at the start, and nothing else. I often suspect they get as many children as possibly involved, just so they sell more tickets.

Honestly if it’s one of these.. singing one song, no solo, sat at the back - I would be going to try party.

I think I am a rare parent that hated school concerts

Obvious really. One goes to party, other one to concert.
This will happen often as children get older.