To have given this as a gift?

[JMSA]

A colleague really helped me out today, and I wanted to give her a token of my appreciation. I remembered that I had a lovely, unused bottle of limoncello that I bought while in Sicily over the summer. So when she dropped me off at home after work today, I nipped inside to grab it for her.
On taking it out of the cupboard, I saw that the cellophane had been removed from the stopper and a wee bit was missing. Bloody teenagers! (not underage, I hasten to add).
I gave it to her anyway because I was completely caught out. But now I feel silly and a bit embarrassed. I'm hoping she won't mind. It could only have been opened recently and she is very thrifty - as well as an incredibly resourceful and amazing human being - so I know that it definitely won't go to waste. She likes the drink and is a keen baker, etc.
I'm hoping that maybe she'll think it's more authentically Italian with the cellophane removed, and that that's how it's supposed to look

Would you be insulted by this gift? I would have lined up something else had I known the bottle was opened.

I didn't slag her off, more just in a jokey what's she like kind of way.
I'd say actively giving someone a half-eaten gift (and not accidentally mind, but in a "I fancied some of that so I took it" way) is worse than a comical bewildered facebook status. It's akin to dishing a guests dinner up and having mouthfulls of their food to try it first before handing them the plate!

Is your mil on FB?

no doubt your mother was off to have given you half an easter egg

but to then post about it on SM…. nah, not on.

Do this. It does depend on how much was missing to me.

No 😂
She can barely work a mobile phone!
I also don't have a lot of DH's family on Facebook so its a safe space for me. MIL has a lot of issues, mainly because her family have allowed her to say and do whatever she wants without question as "that's just the way she is". I however, am not so cool with letting things slide and even my dh now agrees that things should have been pulled up in the past so she wouldn't be as blunt as a brick as she is now. I just found it more ironic his sister said "you can't say that!" but actively ignores her mum for months on end because she's so hard to deal with. It was just a shock for her that someone verbalised it. I have since seen sil and she is absolutely fine with me, she's as daft as a brush and has forgotten she even has me blocked. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just find the whole thing comical. But seriously don't open a gift, eat half of it and still gift it. It's not cricket.

What happened to "it's the thought that counts"?

Long dead on MN sadly. The ingratitude on some threads is mind boggling.

If my DH was slagging my mum off on social media I'd be gutted regardless of who he was friends with. And you were friends with her daughter, clearly.

A private text chain is one thing, social media is something very different and in no way a "safe space" for slagging family members off.

Her daughter was on it

and i’m guessing you and MIL don’t have the… closest of relationships at the best of times

The thought is "oh some opened left over booze I don't want I'll pass it on to someone who can't object"

". I however, am not so cool with letting things slide

You didn’t say anything to her
You posted about it on FB. And she’s not even on it

exactly

You could send flowers or an unopened bottle or chocolate to her workplace or a virtual gift card.

Limoncello is vile anyway. Sorry but you're palming her off with something you don't want.

I think it’s fine, probably would not notice the lack of cellophane.

There was no "slagging" involved. More just it's a good job I love her because she's a mad old bint. She drives me nuts but she is still my mil for better or worse. It was actually someone else that stepped in and said something derogatory about her, and then sil blocked me. I don't actually know why as the person she was mad at she didn't even know.

And you are privy to that how? My husband did actually say to her mum you cant give people half eaten gifts that's not on.

But I hope you feel better now :)

only insofar as glad this kind of nonsense isn’t in my life thank goodness

Thats so embarrassing 😳 I think I'd have to message and say one of kids confessed to having opened it and you didn't realise at the time. There's no way she won't notice.

I think people are being harsh here. It was a nice gesture and I think if I had been you, once I realised the bottle was open, I'd have explained it wasn't the last time you had checked and asked (explain about the trends) if she had still wanted it, then she had the option to decline. However you were caught off guard and hindsight is always a wonderful thing. No need to mention it again and as you say you may never see her again after this week so it's really not important.

Cool, but having just discussed this thread with my dh about his mum he just laughed and said context is key. Context which you are not privy to. So maybe just chill out about what strangers do or say on the internet 🙄

🤷
talking about family members on SM with a “baffled emoji” at them eating your chocolate…. when they aren’t on SM - seems low to me.

but 🤷 your family

Okkkaaaaay. Stepping away now because you are just weird frankly.

OP sorry to derail your thread, I hope you don't feel too bad about the gift. The thought was there and it sounds like your friend won't care. Unlike some on this thread 😅

I hope the friend doesn’t post about the OP on FB 😞

Let us know if she likes limoncello 🍋

You need to see a Dr!! 😂

I wouldn't have minded at all, I like a bit of Limoncello, sampled or otherwise ! I hope your friend enjoys it.

For future reference, teenagers have been sampling weird alcoholic shit their parents have brought back from holidays since time immemorial. My friends and I were certainly tippling from dusty forgotten bottles of advocaat, creme de menthe and cointreau in the early 70s.

Any lurid looking neon coloured touristy alcohol in a house where teens live will have been tasted - its like a compulsion for them. And they are confident in the knowledge that they won't be discovered because it generally hangs around untouched for a few years and then gets slung out. Or in your case given to a friend 😁