Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

I recently rode on an vintage tourist tram, and the driver gave us a commentary on the sights. When we stopped at an old rural station, the tram driver pointed out a small wrought iron structure which turned out to be a Victorian urinal. He explained that there were no toilet facilities for women as Victorian women apparently didn’t need such things!

I’m not sure what the rationale was there. Were women expected to hold it, to give the illusion of having no bodily functions? Were they supposed to stay at home, except for a short daily stroll, perhaps? Or did some Victorian men honestly believe that women were mechanised dollies?

Was very grateful coming out of covid era that a young man allowed me to use Asda loo when i was desperate. But if he'd said no I'd have understood Our local co op would let us, but then they know all the customers

This

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/History-of-Womens-Public-Toilets-in-Britain/

Some cunty comments of the highest order on this thread.
Yes insurance, bla bla bla. There is a reasonable explanation for it but to stick the boot into the op when she's had such a horrible experience is vile.
Having had urgency issues in the past I know only too well the sheer panic of needing the loo and not being able to access one and knowing that if you don't find somewhere quick you're going to be in a horrible, humiliating situation.
Some of you have clearly had a huge empathy bypass.

In almost 30 years of working in retail...not food or clothing...I have never been told that under no circumstances should a customer be allowed a trip to the toilet for insurance reasons.
I can send people to the pub opposite. Or if a child or pregnant woman looks desperate I can use my discretion.
It happens very seldom, and mostly it is a toddler doing the dance they do.
I live in a small town and know all the toilets and bushes, as a pp said...I have 3 kids. Lidl staff are very helpful, which is counter intuitive. Our local community centre has a lot of 'for customer use only ' signs despite being beside a playground.
I'm actually pretty horrified at a lot of negativity towards op.

If it makes you feel any better I once flooded the floor while standing at Sainsbury's checkout. Turns out it was a UTI with the only symptom being sudden and complete loss of bladder control.

I now shop at Asda.

There is no insurance issue. Just a lot of jobsworths on this thread

How horrible for you OP, and I can't believe the nasty and condescending comments on here. Maybe it wasn't practically possible to let you use the loo for whatever reason, but hiding behind "policy" was very cold of them. What about basic human decency?

But that is literally the meaning of "jobsworth". It's more than my job's worth. So if I let you do X, I will lose my job, and therefore my job is worth more to me than doing that thing is to you.

YABU

What a lot of fuss

I have a very dodgy bladder and have taken to wearing tena pads when I'm out

Couldn't you do this OP?

Staff toilets are for staff.

"Jobsworths" to point out that employees don't create the policies but might lose their jobs if they breach the policy?

Perhaps this was the first time op had been in such dire need..and didn't realise that wearing pretty incontinence pants would be a good move?

@wombat15 you seem obsessed with the insurance thing.
Why?

Says someone unlikely to be living payday to payday.

A jobsworth is someone who says that it is more than their job's worth in order to be uncooperative, or obstructive or unhelp. It characterises one who upholds petty rules even at the expense of effectiveness or efficiency. The Oxford dictionary defines is as "A person in authority (esp. a minor official) who insists on adhering to rules and regulations or bureaucratic procedures even at the expense of common sense.

Because every other post incorrectly gives it as a reason.

How do you know it's incorrect? Are you co-ops underwriter?

Nobody has provided any evidence that it would not be covered by insurance and it would make no sense. Why would a shop risk not being covered?

As plenty of people have pointed out shops do let the public use the toilets if they have a medical need or other specified reasons. That includes the Co-op.

Everybody wouldn't yell "safeguarding!" I have fond memories of sitting on my teacher's knee to read in primary school, or Santa's knee in a shopping centre, and I'm rather sorry we live in a world where that's frowned upon now

The only cunty comment as you so charmingly put it is from you. God forbid anyone on here can have an opinion that you don’t agree with. I’ve had four kids and have a weak bladder myself but I wouldn’t expect a staff member to risk their job for me. That’s not acceptable. That’s why at the end of my pregnancies I wore maternity pads in case of leaks. I’m getting fed up of seeing comments having a go at posters just because they don’t automatically agree with the op, even if they are pregnant.

@wombat15 I can't be bothered to read back 21 pages but I think the first mention of insurance was "it's probably because of insurance". I don't think people were stating it as fact - just giving a maybe.

Get a home delivery from another supermarket. If you're shopping daily at the coop you can deffo afford that. You'd probably be able to even afford a 2nd car if you shopped somewhere else 🤣

Lots of posters have stated it as fact.