Baby's 1st birthday

[nomy83]

DD is turning one in November and me and DH have decided on a small gathering at our house (Much to the disappointment of my MIL who wanted a massive party which included inviting all 300 of our wedding guests) out of these 300 family members and friends only 20 see DD on a regular basis and make an effort and have done since she was born.
Her birthday is on a Monday and although everyone will be working and at school I thought we’d do it at 6pm, enough time to have a chill, eat and have cake then send DD to bed. During the day me and DH were going to take her to soft play or sea life centre. The reason for not wanting it on the Sunday is because we’d have to start earlier and it would mean dealing with the guests for longer and I didn’t want it to get too much for DD especially having that many people in a room at once. MIL is complaining she’d have to come back from work and rush to get ready but she only lives less than a 2 minutes walk away and she only ever sees us during the week anyway after 6pm and will stay until DD goes to bed at around 9.

Am I being a bit uptight and boring like she says or not?

Your MIL is being quite OTT. 1 year olds don't need big parties if they need a party at all. Your idea sounds perfect. Little ones love aquariums.

Did she have 300 people at your DHs birthday parties?

She had her time and made her choices with her kids, now is the time for you to make your choices for yours, her job is to be supportive, not railroad you so she gets a second shot at it.

Fo exactly what you want for your child.

Do it on Sunday afternoon and then go tor the sea life centre on the Monday her actual birthday (if you can)?

And only invite a handful of close family. Noone else will care as much!

It's your baby! Do what you want. It's nice to acknowledge reaching the milestone of a year of parenting but at this age parties are really for adults. Cake (and wine) with close family sounds nice.

We had a largish birthday for DS but only because it was also his Christening. 2nd birthday didn't bother with much. 3rd he was actually of an age to enjoy having a little party.

Echoing what other posters have said though maybe 6pm on a Monday isn't super convenient for people and so maybe doing something, still low key, earlier on the Sunday might be better. Also I'd have found it a pain trying to get a 1 year old to bed with lots of people there.

It’s a slightly odd way to do it, 6pm not a great time for little ones, getting them wound up with toys and cake before bed.

We had a close family tea party (10 family) at lunchtime on one weekend day and a farm park day out (just me and DH) on actual birthday.

Completely agree. Do it the way you want to: you know what's best for your little one (your MIL clearly doesn't 😳).
Enjoy the day 💐🥰

Your idea sounds perfect, you know your DD best so do what you feel makes most sense.

A party with 300 guests for a 1 year old is ridiculous in my opinion!

Why, that isn't what she wants to do

Insane. We had a naming ceremony for DD as part of her 2nd birthday party and only had about 40 people to that!

1st birthdays in my opinion are for you - yay I’ve made it a whole year since I birthed a baby! Your child will have no idea what’s going on, invite who you want, eat what you want (we had cake and champagne), and have it for as long as you want.

Because she said the reason was she doesn't want to deal with guests for longer on the Sunday. But why would she? "Dear so and so close friend or family member, we're having tea and cake on Sunday afternoon from 3-430pm at home and we'd love to see you to celebrate baby birthday!"

At 430, "got to get baby dinner now then bedtime as we're out at sea life centre/soft play all day tomorrow and don't want a cranky baby, hahahaha don't we all know! Thanks so much for coming we'll get a date in to catch up again soon, byeee!"

Then she can actually chill out and enjoy baby actual first birthday stress free not in a rush herself to get home for 6pm or whatever. And there won't be any food expectations from anyone as the gathering is not at or close to dinner time.

Job done. But I agree, 300 guests is absurd. Tea and cake for family, like 10-15 people who you can boot out when you want, sufficient.

Presume MiL is offering to pay for the 300?

Tea, cake, etc for the inner circle is perfect and what your little one will find most accessible: how fun and interesting for them to have all those people together in one place for a short time!