To expect the DDs to STAY IN BED when put there?

[NaughtyNigel]

They're not babies - they are 10 and 12.
every evening i tuck them in and come downstairs.
every evening they both come back downstairs at least 3 times each. just for a cuddle, or a kiss, or to tell me something they forgot earlier.
but it it driving me insane.
i want to screeeeam at them to stay in bloody bed but i can't because then that will make them cry and then i'll have to tuck them back in and settlee them down - taking a further 10 minutes. when all they wanted was a hug.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

awww it's kind of sweet though isn't it?

Couple of years and they won't be doing that anymore, and you might miss it then!

but at least then i can crack open the red without them making snide remarks about mum hitting the bottle again.

just made DD2 cry. had to happen when for the 9th time of coming down and telling me she can't sleep i told her off.

Hello, I'm new to this - have you tried reading a chapter or so to them, so bedtime is not such a sudden 'cut-off point?' They love a bit of individual attention last thing at night, and if they feel comforted, they're less likely to try and extend bedtime. This does sometimes take a monumental effort, it has to be said, but I always think happy bedtimes are really important, even (especially?) at that age.

yup - been reading for the last 12 years (when i'm not working). they're really o.k with going to bed - just feel like they have to keep me regularly updated as to how they are, whether they're too hot/cold, whether they're asleep yet, how their own book is going, what is happening in the morning etc etc etc. not really difficult or a problem, just getting on my tits.

Make a joke of it to them and tell them that tomorrow you are going to spend an extra 5 minutes just hanging out with them and give them the extra kiss/hug to save them the walk downstairs.

Explain that once they are in bed, it is your time and as much as you love them, you want sometime without them. Be firm! I am with my two but they don't get out of bed now unless they need a wee and they go back on their own. It's becoming a habit, as it did for my DS last year.

Actually, after 13 years and three kids I've become quite slack - I can't be doing with long-winded goodnights, especially since my oh is away a lot, so I tend not to send them up until they're really tired, usually closer to 9.00 than 8.00. I find they've got less fight in them then, and the 13 year old takes himself off between 9.30 and 10.00, no trouble.