Normal grief or Bipolar?

[Inbetweenie993]

My brother died recently. Weeks not months. He lived in my home for final few years. I am struggling... one minute fine, as loved him very much and did my 'imperfect' best. Cracking on with mountains of paperwork. Sometimes I am Mrs Efficient and know exactly what I'm doing, at other times want to hide under the duvet... no family help for various reasons. Have long worried i may be bipolar, see a doctor or grief counsellor??? AIBU? YES - NORMAL GRIEF. NO - MENTAL HEALTH HELP?

Did you ever think you were bipolar before? If this is only since the loss of your brother then it seems to be greatly grief. Speak to your gp or seek counselling (some employers offer it)

I'm sorry for your loss

If you are concerned that you have a severe mental illness such as bipolar disorder then you should visit your GP.

I am sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry you're going through this and for your loss. It's so bloody hard. I'd say grief and being overwhelmed with everything a loss brings - there's so much to do when you just want to hide away from everything and it's just too much - especially if you don't have a close network to share everything. Counselling may help in the long run but friends are a great support if you have any you can rely on x

Hard to say, but normal grief is like this.

That sounds like normal grief.

I am so sorry x

From personal experience I would say this is normal but honestly every bereavement and grief experience is different and unique depending on so many factors that "normal" doesn't really apply.

If it's only been weeks you're probably still in shock, even if it was expected, and moreso if not. Honestly I'm nearly 3 years in after my DP died and still wonder if I'm going mad sometimes. But you're in such early days so be kind to yourself. If reaching out to a GP or for other support feels right, do it of course, but switching from one emotional state to another tends to go with the territory.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please accept my love and solidarity. I have found the Bereavement board on here very helpful, and also a Facebook page called "Refuge in Grief" which is very honest about the grieving process.

One of the most difficult things is managing other people's expectations of your own process, and by extension one can feel we're "doing it wrong" - but there is no wrong really, it's just scary and brutal and takes time. Huge hugs x

Sorry for your loss.

It is normal for grief to come in waves. Fine one second and crying the next.

Seeing a grief counsellor is recommended for normal grief too. You sound like you are struggling and so I would reach out. We have a local cafe that has a grief support group- so your community may have resources too.

Unless you were previously concerned about your mh, this sounds perfectly normal. Grief is not linear. It doesn't have a set road. From personal experience, it comes in waves and like waves can strike at any time. I'm sorry for your loss.

Sounds like grief. It’s personal to everyone individually but it comes in waves. Fine one day and able to get on with the practical stuff and then another day completely at sea and in tears just about able to make a cup of tea and not much else. Sounds like you are in the very early days of loss and grief is in stages , but don’t follow a linear path and you can find yourself flip flopping between the different stages some times daily or even during the day in the early stages. Also there is no defined time as to how long you suffer grief; for some they never really get through it, others maybe 12 - 18 months - no right or wrong answer. Grief is a recognised human condition.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

If you are feeling overwhelmed first port of call is your GP who can help navigate if it is grief or if there is some other underlying MH issue which needs treatment.

Thank you so much. I have often wondered about bipolar, but never said it 'out loud' before. Maybe I am, but now not the time to be rational about anything I suppose... just lost my sense of purpose in caring for him and now drowning in grief and paperwork. Sounds odd, but that's how it is for everyone I guess. Thank you again for lovely messages of support. Xxxx

It sounds normal to me. I lost my dad the first week of January and my OH of 15 years in March. I've spent most of this year alternating between keeping myself distracted reading/playing games/doing crafts/cuddling the cats, and sobbing/raging/staying in bed all day.

The pain doesn't really get better, but the overwhelming bits just get further apart with more "normal" space between them.

I'm sorry for your loss. I was surprised how exhausting grief is. You do what you need to do then collapse in an exhausted pile. I wouldn't say what you are going through is abnormal, but if you have doubts and want some reassurance, talk to your doctor.

I have bipolar, and it sounds like normal grief to me, people with bipolar are "allowed" to have big, heavy and scary feelings, it is the extent to which is affects your life that makes it a serious disorder. I think it has to be more than one cycle of mania into depression or mixed episodes for something like 6 weeks? Only a doctor can tell you. The one warning I would give is: if you think you might have bipolar, be VERY cautious if you are given an SSRI for depression, as these can cause rapid cycling for bipolar and it is extremely distressing. Do you have someone who knows you really well that can keep an eye out for strange behaviour if you start them?

It’s normal. I am so sorry

You’re not even a year in…my mum died nearly two years ago and last night I totally lost it because my son broke her casserole dish, I was completely out of order and don’t know where the anger came from.

I have schizo affective disorder ( a type of bipolar disorder) and that doesn't sound like bipolar at all.

People mistakenly think that people with bipolar have frequent mood swings when that usually isn't the case. It's more like long periods of depression (many weeks/months) and then periods of high eg feeling extremely happy & full of energy, very talkative etc (hypomanic) sometimes tipping into mania where the highs become so extreme you lose touch with reality & can become psychotic. Very rarely you can get 'mixed state' or 'rapid cycling'.where you can experience extreme happiness & extreme depression in a shorter space of time

Bipolar & depression are where the moods are not normal. Grief although dreadful is completely different & is a perfectly normal response rather than a mental illness. That doesn't mean that you don't deserve support or understanding. Hope that helps to reassure you.