Period pain proof required for school sick days

[Amallamard]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly4zd8xp74o

Aside from the utter madness about period pains (which im sure MNers will have plenty to say about), is it just me that thinks a cold can be bad enough to need time off? One of mine was off with a cold last week. They ended up on antibiotics and steroids. In no way fit for school. It's no wonder schools are such germ factories when they insist children should come in when they're ill!

My eldest has seasonal asthma which is really exacerbated when he has a cold. If we don’t take a couple of days to nip in the bud with plenty of rest then he will be ill for weeks.

last year he had chicken pox, scarlet fever and severe asthma complications in the space of September-January and they sent us a letter about his attendance despite the fact we had proved he was unwell (appointment/hospital letters, GP notes etc)

I was furious and genuinely don’t think he would have been so ill if we hadn’t pushed him to go to school when he wasn’t quite right.

I remember a day in the sick bay at school because I had crippling period pain. That was about 45 years ago.

What alarms me about this is what sort of "proof" these fuckers want. Period trackers? Sworn testimony? It's all too reminiscent of the extreme control of women some US politicians advocate for.

Good for you.
You do realise there are different levels and seriousness of colds and period pains?
Or is this just about you?

But this is going against the government guidance on attendance. It literally says schools shouldn’t ask for medical evidence for stuff like this.

I know this school very well. The head is the husband of another headteacher whose school is doing much, much better in the same trust. I am sure there will be a competitive element between them. The head talks a very good talk. But isn't able to put much needed money where his mouth is. Over 60 members of staff, mostly teaching and

Huh. I wish my mum would've taken me seriously when I had period pain - she never had a painful or heavy period in her life, and she simply did not believe how much pain I was in during the worst times. I remember just silently crying in maths class once, the teacher came over and asked me what was wrong - I can't remember what I said but I basically almost fainted in the corridor and had to be taken to the nurse's office to lie down. Wasn't allowed any painkillers of course. Mum came and got me and was livid.

No point to this story except I do understand the whole 'power on through' kind of attitude, but for some it's really really difficult and like I say on all the threads like this - this isn't targeting the kids of people that are commenting here. It's commenting those parents that don't take school attendance seriously and let their kid off for any reason, mainly because it's easier for them.

(I do think there is a degree of wilful naivete here as well - I'm sure while your daughter would never, some might let's say, over egg the pain they're feeling to get a day off snuggled in bed.)

I am the parent of my children and I will decide when they are too ill for school be it with illness or period pain. The school can do one. As long as my kids are doing ok academically and have overall good attendance then that’s what counts. School is there to teach not dictate when my child is well enough for school or what they can have in their packed lunch or drinks bottle. My child my choice how to parent them - and for the record I absolutely do believe that sometimes just like adults our kids get sad, exhausted, fed up and need a bit of tlc and a duvet day.

I would agree except that I’ve seen similar letters from other schools. Parents being fined for kids being off sick etc
There are now Facebook groups organised to start fighting back because people have had enough. Some schools are sending out automatic letters warning parents about fines. And of course at this time of year missing just a couple of days massively alters the percentage. Some common sense is needed.
I’ve seen people sending in photos of sick etc in to prove their child is ill!

Omg no surprise the head is a male !! My periods were dreadful during my teen years ( and beyond ) I used to suffer passing big clots gushes and pain . The humiliation at school of suddenly bleeding right through pads and school uniforms was intense . I thought the world had become more understanding

Cont

And pastoral support (year team, safeguarding, Sen team) left in the last academic year. It is estimated at closer to 100 staff across the establishment. A combination of leaving for greener pastures and being got rid of due to performance.

Their Sen department was run into the ground and is being built back up from rubble by a dedicated group of staff, with very little funding to do anything substantially effective.

This will be a reaction to a number of new policies being put in place (girls are also only allowed to wear trousers, talk about victim blaming).

If you want to know what sort of head runs the school, you can do worse than check out chrissietutoruk on twitter. A very talented teacher who worked wonders with her classes, who had an amazing rapport with her lower set and Sen students. She was subjected to some very unprofessional behaviour by the head and trust leaders.

This would not have happened under the previous head, Jason wing. A former Olympian. The students knew where they stood with him. With this head, the rules change so often they don't know which ones they should be following. There is no consistency.

And yes, there are also a large number of entitled parents of entitled children. The majority who work within expectations are being caught in the crossfire here.

In short, NWA was once a great school. But an indecisive slt and lack of appropriate funding are driving it into the ground. With few options for the majority to go elsewhere.

I’m 46 - old school I guess? I’ve had endometriosis since too young an age to too old an age.

A lot of pain which is highly disruptive to my well-being.

I also suffer from a highly debilitating illness .

I don’t think period pain / colds are legitimate reasons to have time off school. As they wouldn’t be reasons to have time off work.

But they might not have been diagnosed with endometriosis or other issues at that point?
Endometriosis pain is a legitimate reason to take time off work, I cannot work with it on very bad days
Just because age 14 it might be "period pain" doesn't mean it's not actually endometriosis pain

I took many a day off work in my twenties because of period pain. Has it occurred to you that debilitating pain from periods is common?

I had period pain that bad as a teenager. I did seek medical attention but there wasn’t much they could do for me. It got better when I was ready to go on the pill, which at 13 I was not. I was also a competitive swimmer and it took me blooming ages to get the hang of tampons. I wanted to use them but could not get them up my vag properly!! I’m sure some families take the piss but if a 13 year doesn’t want to insert something in her vagina, she jolly well should t have to do PE!!

WTF, how not legitimate? Take a girl who's filling a super tampon and a night-time pad in 20 minutes, who can barely hear what the teacher is saying because she's having to put so much effort into just sitting straight and not vomiting or passing out from pain. She's told she can't use the toilet during lesson time and bleeds through her clothes. At what point in this nightmare (I describe my own experience) is there any benefit to anyone in her being at school? Get a fucking grip. And I'm older than you. Age has nothing to do with it.

I was lucky enough to have a GP who listened to me and took action. I kept a diary of symptoms for 3 months then printed it out and showed him.

He was aghast.
Referred me straight away.

Funnily enough, I managed to conceive just before one of my appointments.
Had DS1 by em c/s and never had so much as a twinge of pain since!

(and I used to cry silently into my cupboard at work as I was in so much pain)

Why can’t we normalise not doing pe when uncomfortable? Particularly for girls getting the hang of managing periods.

as an adult who is a keen gym member, I skip the gym the first 3 days of my period so I don’t go dizzy or flood while in light clothing. Can’t we offer teenage girls the same dignity?

And I keep DS off when he’s having mild asthma trouble on pe days because they won’t accept a note for pe and he gets so much worse after it. Note not indefinitely: just on the tail end of a cold or similar that makes it flare up.

I used to faint from period pain when I was a teenager. My friend actually knocked herself unconscious as she fainted in the bathroom and hit her head on the sink. Can you not grasp that some women are more badly affected than others!

I was taken to the doctor and was dismissed with painkillers that did bugger all as I would throw up from pain so half dissolved pain killers would come up. The Dr said having a baby would help..I was 14, I wanted to die every month and told my mum I was going to throw myself under a train and was serious about it. I had it planned as we lived near a high speed line. That was when the GP very reluctantly prescribed the pill.

So it’s hard to get medical evidence.

That was me. My mother, who was neglectful of my health at best, sent me to school regardless and I would be sent out of class every single month over two days. I couldn’t stand up when the pains were at their worst.

I hear you. There have been times where I have honestly wanted to be dead as the pain was so intense. I've been on all fours on the floor, screaming at the top of my lungs until I passed out.

I'm utterly outraged that we are not taken seriously by medical professionals, and other folk who don't appear to believe us because they haven't experienced it themselves.

See people who say ‘on really I never gave any pain!’ I want to slap them. I remember writhing in my bed begging my mum to put a knife through me and praying to God to stop the pain despite not believing in any religion. I was lucky that my mum had suffered worse than me so she listened and believed me. Even now at 45 I can feel like I’m being snapped in two. That’s why I liked wfh as I didn’t have to put on my game face, problem is my cycle had always been erratic so working hybrid means I still have to go in as I can’t always predict it. If anyone says they have period pain I instantly feel for them.

If you think the average doctor would be any help with severe period pain, you are mistaken. The vast majority of the time, women and girls presenting with severe menstrual related symptoms are dismissed as cry babies.

It takes years for the average woman with endometriosis to be diagnosed, usually after being told she should take exercise, take aspirin, get psychotherapy, and many other non-solutions.

And why shouldn't girls be allowed to skip PE or swimming if they are experiencing period related discomfort of any kind, or pain?
Tampons are not for everyone. Medication can have unpleasant side effects. If you think parents should make their daughters straighten up and fly right, maybe ask yourself why it's desirable to make girls ignore physical symptoms or not listen to their bodies.

I'm not sure why or when we seemed to make a collective decision that anyone who carries on working/going to school when they're unwell is somehow morally superior.

Why on earth do people compete for bragging rights about how little time they've had off? Or how they "managed to power through" <insert your choice of debilitating illnesses/surgery etc>.

There's no medal for pushing yourself through misery when you'd be much better taking a day off sick and recovering.

The UK - and certain other countries - has a terrible attitude to self-care, and completely lacks balance in its approach to well-being and health.

Having children fixed my heavy periods, but I had a nightmare when I was younger. Occasionally my DD has a horrible period that leaves her doubled over in pain - but the majority are absolutely fine and she doesn't even need pain relief. If she was having one of her bad periods, then there's not a single chance in this world that I'd force her to power through it and endure a day of misery just to fulfil a headteacher's desired attendance quota. And I was a school governor for over five years, so it's not as if I don't appreciate the importance of good attendance....

I know there's a back story but really, this is happening in multiple schools and I don't care what the excuse is - it's not OK. We should be teaching our children to prioritise their wellbeing and to take time out if they are genuinely unwell. There's no shame in giving your body time to heal and recover.

This, with bells on.

It's school, not the bloody army.