“Strong sense of justice” - unreasonable?

[Waiting9]

I have been seeking counselling after being sexually harassed by my manager at work, my therapist has said that I have a “strong sense of justice” and stand up for myself. Is this a bad thing? Is this something I should change?

I complained about my manager at work and got managed out of my job, and I can’t help but wonder if I should have “played the game” and kept him on side until I found a new job. However his behaviour was increasingly inappropriate and I felt backed into a corner, if I didn’t complain he would have wanted more from me that I didn’t feel comfortable with. He was asking me to stay at hotels with him, would speak to me about sex and dating and how he thinks I’m attractive. I don’t necessarily have rigid morals elsewhere, but I can see how I made unpopular decisions at work by not letting things slide and by rocking the boat, which allowed my manager to successfully manage me out. The truth is, no one else at work cared enough about me to act on my concerns, and I was unpopular enough that others sided with my manager.

@BeNavyCrab thank you, that is an excellent post and I’m just soaking in all your advice. Thank you

@Waiting9 You are most welcome. I'm glad it's been helpful to you. I just wanted to add that whether you decide to take the legal route or not is totally up to you. I didn't want you to think that I am encouraging you to do it for others. It's most important for you to be at peace and choose whatever you feel is best for you and your healing. You don't have to jump to a decision, just keep whatever evidence you have, so it's an option in the future. Try to be kind to yourself, you will get through this.

No excuse for what he did OP and you did the right thing. A stronge sense of justice is a positive quality.

Did she mean boundaries? It's an odd thing to say, especially at the end of a session.

Completely agree with @BeNavyCrab

There is nothing wrong with you or what you've done at all, you're doing what's needed right now and taking the time to process what happened. We all react differently too, so one person may be able to dismiss the behaviour (ie put up with it until a better job came along) more easily than someone else. Someone else might try that approach and find it causes them more damage in the long run - they may end up feeling like they let themselves down by not doing what you did. It's a rotten choice and situation to be in and 100% the abusers fault and responsibility, and a huge injustice.

Whatever you decide to do next, you will learn important and valuable things not only about yourself, bit others too. I guess it's about finding the right course of action for you and finding peace with yourself, because you totally deserve that.