To say no after I’ve already said yes?

[Cedricdig]

I do some volunteer work which I absolutely love. It’s quite active and can be quite tiring but it’s just once every two weeks usually. The role I do is quite sought after as it has some nice perks like travel opportunities a couple of weekends a year and I get invited to some interesting things.

We’re having a special event soon they asked me to help with, which means doing 4 extra sessions, over two weeks.

It coincides with some massive work deadlines and my bosses being over from the US, so I said no.

They tried to persuade me and I gave in and agreed, as I know how much other people would love the role, but as it’s nearing, I’m realising how much I’m dreading having to go to the extra events after long days in the office. It also means I won’t get home to see the kids after work on those nights as I’ll be in the office later than usual so will have to go straight there from the office.

AIBU to say no now? It’s about 3 weeks away and they’ll have to find another one of the volunteers to step in. It has to be the same person for across the 4 events so I can’t just do one.

There’s no practical reason I can’t do them, I will be finished at the office in time to make it if I go straight there, and DH can put the kids to bed those nights, I’m just tired at the thought of it.

I hate backing out of something I’ve committed to but I should’ve stood my ground in the first place.

YABU - man up and stick to your commitments, nothing terrible will happen.

YANBU - don’t wear yourself out for no reason

If it was me, I’d suck it up. And remind myself to be more careful with my time commitments next time. You’ve said yes now, so don’t let them down just get it done.

To time to say no was in the beginning. You should have stuck to your guns.

You could always ask if they can find someone else to take over but if they can't then you need to suck it up I'm afraid.

YABU

I think 3 weeks out is a bit late to pull out tbh

You WNBU to have said no and stuck to that.
But YABU to have relented and then back out of the commitment.

Suck it up this time and do better with your boundaries next time.

Nope, you are well within your rights to have reassessed (or even "somethings come up"), and you realise you can no longer accomodate what you agreed. If it's that great, then another volunteer will jump at it and have no issue filling the spot. You can even (if you're feeling bad) offer to cover if they can't find the cover, but then I'd be sending out messaged trying to see if I could prompt anyone to cover the slots.

You've already said yes so I'd do it. But you could always put feelers out to see if they can get cover?

There definitely won’t be any issue getting cover, that isn’t a concern. It’s more how it reflects on me.

I manage volunteers. I would never dream of putting pressure on someone if they'd already said no. That's terrible volunteer management. They should have respected your decision in the first place. Yes, you should have stuck to your guns and continued to say no, but perhaps you were hoping it would be manageable, and now your work situation has become clearer, it's not. YWNBU to pull out but do it today so they can sort someone else. Apologise but don't grovel. They are not paying you!

Then use the "somethings come up" option, something unforseen, that's changed your ability to do the volunteering. Things happen. Flex it as an opportunity for someone rather than a letdown

If they can cover for you then I would pull out. You've reflected further and it doesn't work for you. It happens. So long as you're giving them enough time to make another plan I don't see a problem.

It depends on the event whether it would be appropriate to pull out or not.
I would contact the organisers and say something like “I’ve got some big work deadlines coming up, is there anyone who could cover these events. If you can’t find anyone I will still do them”, it may be that they have someone available to take over, but this takes the pressure off the organisers if they don’t have time to find a replacement.

If they really won't have a problem getting cover then of course you can pull out. Just say work commitments, boss is asking you all to work late, or something.