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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my ex to SS?

4 replies

Lux1982 · 06/10/2024 21:54

I have a 21 year old daughter and she visits her father sometimes. Father has a young child with his now wife.

My ex was aggressive towards my daughter when she was younger, and towards me and it was the main reason I left him. He has a nasty temper and can lash out verbally when he gets angry with a child and go too far in terms of punishment. He would pin her down to shout at her and hurt her more (by pinning her down to make her stop crying) when he was angry. I wasn’t able to stop him seeing my daughter completely because without solid proof that’s very difficult legally and no one listened to me when I tried. so he saw her for a few hours a week but I did not tolerate him being aggressive with my child, I would confront him and after one time where he was very aggressive towards her (shouting and smacked her) I told him I would stop contact if he ever ever did it again and he never did it again.

Trust me I feel like a terrible parent allowing her to go but it’s not that simple. Until now she never said anything bad about him and always made excuses. She learnt how not to piss him off.

My daughter visited this weekend and told me that he pinned down his younger child and hurt them while they were crying. My daughter intervened and had a go at him and took their sibling away from him. She took photos as sibling had a hand print on them. The stepmum was not home at the time of the incident so doesn’t know about it. I feel so bad for the child and my daughter witnessing it. My daughter only continues to visit to try to protect her sibling and doesn’t want me to report it and to leave it because he would know she was the only witness.

What is the best thing to do in this situation? Now I know about it I can’t stop thinking about this poor child

OP posts:
Octonaut4Life · 06/10/2024 21:57

Absolutely report.

Theunamedcat · 06/10/2024 22:02

Report

Ibloodylovetea · 07/10/2024 08:39

Octonaut4Life · 06/10/2024 21:57

Absolutely report.

Totally agree. If you suspect abuse you have a duty to report it. SS will investigate & decide what, if any, action should be taken. Good luck

Mumofoneandone · 07/10/2024 08:44

Sadly, you have to report. Make sure you get the photo from your daughter's phone, so she can't destroy the evidence. Your daughter is obviously uncomfortable about the situation, as she has told you.

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