teen sleepovers

[Annielou67]

This weekend I ended up (long story) looking after a teen relative and her female friend. They had arranged a sleepover, then a family crisis meant mum had to go away so they came to my house. My teenaged child caught them having sex. I’m quite pissed off that 2 14 yr olds were at it under my roof. I told my relative who was in complete denial, said it couldn’t have happened, their child isn’t a lesbian. I wouldn’t have let two 14 yr olds of the opposite sex stay in the same room together, but now do we need to get with the times and accept that sleepovers with any gender /sexuality teenager may mean sex? Are sleepovers even a good idea anymore?

What do you mean 'get with the times'?

Gay and bi relationships have existed as long as people have.

What did the girls say when you confronted them about having sex in your home?

My teen daughter has had a teen boy sleepover every week for months. He is gay but no matter who has a sleepover it doesn’t cross my mind that they would have sex.

What a situation to find yourself in! Sleepovers of any sort needs to have rules. Keep doors open at all time for example.

Was your own teen upset OP? It's disrespectful, and I wouldn't be offering again. Set clear boundaries for your own teen.

I’m sorry if my wording was inappropriate. I suppose I meant that maybe now young people are more fluid when choosing which gender to have sex with. Maybe I’m naive. Maybe young people always were and I have led a sheltered life.

My teen is older. They were quite indignant and said they thought it was disgusting. Can I say that the girls were also using my daughter’s bed (she is 24 and away for work). So not great on that count either.

You're naive

Kids aren't "more fluid" they're just allowed to be more open

It was disrespectful of them to do it in your daughter's bed and I'd be telling them as such

With my children I have never thought twice about them having or going to a sleepover - I asked them today and nothing untoward ever happened although my daughter said she was propositioned by a girl once, but nothing happened. I think I’m a bit shocked about it. I was responsible for looking after the teens after all.

I didn’t speak to them about it. I needed time to process it and speak to the mum. Mum is in denial completely, so I probably will have to say something. As someone said, she has been very disrespectful.

Sleepovers usually have more than 1 guest (or at least they did when I was young, maybe things have changed) so it wouldn't occur to me to worry about anyone having sex. I suppose, with just two teens, it may need to be a consideration regardless of whether they are boys or girls but it's a fairly unlikely scenario as a) more teens are open about their sexuality now and b) most people don't have sex with their existing friends, they get a boy/girl friend who would be new to the parents.

Well, you've told her mum who chooses not to believe you. You won't be having them sleep over again so I would let it go now, it's really not your problem. If her daughter is gay/bi I'm sure she the mum will realise it eventually!

I didn’t speak to them about it. I needed time to process it and speak to the mum. Mum is in denial completely, so I probably will have to say something. As someone said, she has been very disrespectful.

The mum has blatantly accused your child of telling bare faced lies, and you will 'probably' have to say something to the kids about having sex in your home?

Jesus wept.

And how do you think the OP's teenager is going to feel about being called a liar?

You think it's ok to let that go?

Those are very serious lies they're being accused of telling.