Getting older and feeling crap

[grannypants22]

I'm approaching 40 and feel like I can definitely feel my body struggling more.

In my twenties I used to bounce back from heavy nights out, eat an appalling diet and still look and feel pretty fit and healthy.

Last night I went out for a friends birthday and had a quite a few drinks. Thought I was being sensible and was home before 10pm. Had some takeaway food and a few painkillers and went to bed. Woke in the night with stomach cramps and had to use the loo a few times. Slept horribly. Woke up drained and full of anxiety and have spent the whole day with a horrible gurgling stomach and nausea. I didn't even drink that much!

Is this pretty standard as you get older? I know metabolism slows down and I guess this is also why I can't drop weight as easily as I used to. I just feel grim to be honest and quite depressed that it's downhill from here unless I make some big changes. I don't want to cut out alcohol and takeaways altogether but if they make me feel this grotty I may have no choice.

Are there any adaptations or lifestyle changes you've made as you've got older? How do they benefit your mental and physical health?

Stop drinking alcohol, it will bring the biggest benefit to your physical and mental health.
and yes, it only gets worse!

I don’t drink really - not worth it you lose whole days to feeling rubbish.

I’ve taken up walking - like taking the stairs, furthest car parking space.

Little thinks make a big difference

I do definitely need to cut back. Weeknight drinking has definitely crept up out of sheer habit more than anything. And actually it's not that that makes me feel crap because I'll have one or two then stop. But nights out just tend to include a lot lot more and clearly my body can't handle it anymore.

That said, I need to cut back in general as all of those one or twos during the week aren't helping my health or waistline either. I don't want to give up completely because I really do enjoy a glass of something to relax and mark the weekend but i need to rein it in a bit and think of my overall health.

Your ability to metabolise alcohol gets markedly worse in your early forties (relatively new study has just found this and it agrees with earlier results). I can barely handle alcohol at all any more. One glass of wine will leave me feeling bleak and hopeless these days unless I'm super super relaxed and have a very little to drink, with lots of food.

I think you just can't take it any more. But it's possible you also got food poisoning from the takeaway food.

I took the plunge of just completely not drinking alcohol any more, 2 years ago, and honestly it is the best thing I've ever done. I never ever would have imagined it possible for me not to drink, it was such a regular part of life, but so glad. Just couldn't do it any more. Also been super strict on properly exercising, a lot. And a reasonable diet (all the bad stuff but also all the good stuff). Those three things alone keep me feeling generally physically good. The thing is OP, what things could you replace them with that you would also feel good with, for example would there be any other thing you could do to relax and mark the weekend that wasn't alcohol, for example, like a special shower gel or a nice cut of steak or whatever. I have found some of the non alc. cocktails etc to be really nice. I feel like now going into my (very) late 40s, I have to make more healthy choices otherwise I will just feel like shit.

just as a postscript to this, in my 20s I lived on crisps and booze and only ran for a bus and was very very slim, but as soon as you hit 40s you're like a vintage car that has to be driven carefully and polished with special oil :)

Yes it gets worse. Far worse!

I am definitely reaching that point @lissom
I feel like up until the last few years I have basically done what I like with my body, totally neglected nutrition and exercise and kind of got away with it.
But now I'm overweight. I'm bloated. My skin and hair feel dull and I'm always knackered. If I carry on like this things will only get worse and I'll look and feel even worse than I already do.
Im afraid nice showers and even good steak just doesn't cut it for me. I love sitting down after a long day and just relaxing with a glass of wine or a G&T. I wish I could go alcohol free and not miss it but it would be so hard at this point. Dh and I have no help with dc. We work, we come home, we do chores and sort the kids and there's no time for anything else. So a drink and a takeaway kind of feels like a treat for us. It will be hard to give up these little pleasures when the rest of life is such a constant grind but I feel I have to do something or I'm going to get to a point where the damage is irreversible.

I don’t drink but my friend that do have 2/3 day hangovers. I am almost 35 and feeling it more recently.

@grannypants22 , I understand you're in the trenches and it will be unrealistic to suddenly completely change, of course you have to have some pleasures and down time (my kids are teens so I'm not so much in the grind, I honestly don't think I could have gone without my G & Ts and Aperols when they were younger and you have that lovely moment of aaaah, kids are in bed, finally grown-up time), but you could do little things for your health, like of the items: alcohol, general diet, sleep, exercise, try to set yourself a manageable smaller goal within those, like 2 drink limit or only drinking Fri and Sat or you will do some form of exercise twice a week or whatever. I think that as your kids get older and things are less pressured, you will naturally have that bit more time to look after yourself, and that will mean that the 'treats' don't seem so needed as before, at least that's what happened to me. I noticed a big swoop down in health and wellbeing as the perimenopause hit around 43-44, and that's what prompted me to take the more drastic action with the alcohol.

Whereas when you were in your 20's you didn't have to think, now you just have to work a bit harder or keep up your fitness, watch what you eat and drink. Peri menopause kicked in for me at 44 and that's when it started.

because I really do enjoy a glass of something to relax and mark the weekend

The struggle is real.

The question to ask yourself is why your choice of ways to relax and celebrate the weekend does nothing good for you and actually makes you feel really terrible.

If you can disentangle that one, your life will start getting better and better.

Using the thought of how you will feel afterwards to guide your choices may not sound like much but it really is a superpower, which you can employ in so many aspects of your life. Enjoy.