Would this have annoyed you?

[Welshinthewest]

hope it’s ok to post on here to get an opinion on this because I honestly don’t know if I’m just being over sensitive or not!

this happened about 1 month ago but has been playing on my mind ever since (I know I’m too late to say anything now, just wanted perspective if I was UR to have been annoyed in the first place)

i’ll try and keep it vague so it’s not outing but I’ve got a condition that can make me become very unwell (sent to resus level of unwell). I unfortunately took unwell and ended up in hospital 1 month ago. When I was better and returned to work, my boss kept joking about it (so for example, say I was very unwell with type 1 diabetes- he was singing ‘sugar sugar’ around me, or if it was asthma he was singing the lyrics ‘I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing’ etc. that sort of thing (it was neither of those conditions but it was very similar to those examples)

would that have annoyed you? I stupidly didn’t say anything but it annoyed me at the time. I know I can’t address it now, it’s too late and it’s my fault for not calling it out at the time, but I think I just didn’t want to make a fuss or be sensitive. I know it wasn’t coming from a good place, and it was probably to cheer me up, but it annoyed me that it was a big joke. I didn’t even want it to be taken seriously, I just didn’t want it mentioned at all tbh.

so yeah, was I being over sensitive for being a bit annoyed at this? And if it happens again, would i be justified to say not to make jokes about it, or am I going to come across bad tempered and too sensitive?

I like a joke like everyone else but I guess this just touched a nerve slightly but equally I don’t want to be seen as the bad tempered one at work!

so in the month since then
has your boss mentioned?

btw i recall your thread
you went to resus, discharged later that day, and was upset that dp and mother thought you were exaggerating

Yes, that would annoy me.

sorry, that’s not my thread at all! I don’t have a sister for starters lol!

Sorry @speedmop meant to tag you in my comment above. Somehow didn’t work though!

but to answer your first question, not really no, just a few passing remarks but nothing significant.

it’s not something I’m going to address or do anything about (it was a month ago after all) but I just wanted some perspective on if I was being over sensitive in the first place

Sorry @speedmop I really should read properly before replying- I don’t know where I thought you said ‘sister’ but not withstanding that I don’t have a dp either haha, and it wasn’t my thread anyway I haven’t posted about this before

i didn’t mention a sister 🤷

it was family and friends thinking you were exaggerating

and by the end of the thread, the posters all thought too

either way op, he was a bit jokey a month ago and then nothing since

let it go

FS, I have no idea what thread you’re on about because it wasn’t my thread! MN can verify that wasn’t me if you have any concerns 🤷🏼‍♀️

I know, I’ve let it go, as I’ve said a few times not doing anything about it.I was just asking for perspective if it would have annoyed other people or if I was just being sensitive, that’s all

i would have been annoyed at the time

and either i or more likely a colleague would have said that it was insensitive to him

but given not really mentioned since, i would have likely forgotten by now

I would be annoyed- the singing makes it seem to me that he didn't really believe it was serious and it's very minimising of what seems to be a serious health issue.

I'm not sure I would have said anything if it was a one time thing but if he was doing it repeatedly I would have to say something.

Ah, I wish I had said something! Don’t know why I didn’t, tbh I think in the back of my mind I didn’t want to come across grumpy.

next time (hopefully there won’t be a next time though!) I’ll just stand up for myself a bit more

Yes that is unpleasant behaviour from anyone but coming from your boss it was very inappropriate. I certainly would have said something.
Standing up for yourself and saying something doesn't have to involve losing your temper.
How does your boss normally behave towards you and the other staff because he doesn't sound very professional?

Insensitive of your boss. I can understand why that would have been annoying, especially after just getting out of hospital. While he probably didn't mean to upset you, it's not really appropriate in the workplace and I would have said something at the time. Just let this go, I wouldn't let it take up any more of your headspace

Some people don’t know how to socialise and they don’t know how to interact in ways that don’t involve teasing. I would find it mildly annoying but I used to be one of those people when I was younger, wanting to interact but having no idea what people chatted about

Yes it was beyond insensitive. Meanwhile, I don’t think you can say anything a month after the fact. I would document it though because if become ill and he does it again, you can document it again, tell him “Look, you said this last time and now you’re saying this…. It’s really insensitive, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t.” if he continues… HR..

It would have irritated me yes.

It's the same sort of person who will continue to make fun of someone's slight foreign accent to their face in a group setting and then ask why they can't take a joke if they show displeasure.