Posting pictures of poorly children on FB

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Why?? Why would anyone take a photo of a poorly looking (and crying!) young child, post it on FB and put a status about how awful it is that they feel so poorly. What kind of mother does that??
Do children not deserve any privacy anymore?

Is this the done thing now or is this just amongst a few of my friends? I’m really shocked that people do this. Of course there are lots of comments wishing the child well, which is fine. But did it really need a photo?

It's not something I would do, but people are increasingly living more isolated and unsupported lives, potentially far from support networks and family. They turn to social media for that support, sympathetic responses, advice, and attention. Yes, their children haven't asked to be online, but this is how many people connect with their communities now.

I mean posting that little Sally is really poorly is one thing, but I just feel the picture of an upset child at their most vulnerable is just a step too far.

@comedycentral understand that, but I don’t think a photo is appropriate.

I know, like I said before, it's not what I would do, but I have family and friends to turn to. A lady I used to work with, for example, always posts poorly baby/toddler photos: up all night, full of cold, even in the hospital once. But I know she's quite a lonely person with family far away and is fairly needy in general. I feel sorry for the whole situation, to be honest.

Because some people like attention .. and they're weird.

Support and to keep family up to date.

DS became critically poorly back in March. Sharing pictures and updating Facebook became a way to cope and to digest everything that was happening.

When someone has experienced feeling useless and alone in hospital as they feel their child slowly slipping away from them, they can gladly judge me on how I coped during that time.

I was a very sick child, before social media, and I hate it. It’s a huge invasion of privacy.

That's horrible. Poor kid. FB updates are one thing, but no need to include a pic of a suffering child.

This is so sad and is exactly why none of us should judge. I’m so sorry for your loss x

Its performative and attention seeking

Like people who post covid test results or pregnancy test results.

Same thing although the photo of a child is intrusive of another person who hasnt given consent which in my view is inappropriate.

Ds was critically ill at 8 weeks old and then for the first 6 years of life spent a large proportion of his life in hospital.

when he was critically ill a nurse encouraged me to take photos. I didn’t understand why at the time but now years down the line they have helped me deal with what happened. Only one of the photos at his worst have ever been shared.

during that first admission we got his first photo smiling. He was still on oxygen via nasal specs, the photo is one of my favourites
of him and I did share it on social media. It was nice to be able to share photos with my friends who has been so fantastic through a horrendous time.

over the years of many hospital admissions I did post many other pictures because at that point for us being in hospital was as normal as being in a soft play was for his peers.

He thankfully survived in the end but he very nearly didn’t. We’re still here in hospital 7 months later. He was very poorly but is much better than he was thankfully.

I wouldn’t post about the usual coughs and colds children get but when it’s serious and knowing that there’s so many people thinking about your child and praying for them. It helped me at the most scariest time of my life.

Thanks.

People don't do it because they're looking for support.

They do it for attention and sympathy. It's not about the sick child, it's about them. Which is sick in itself tbh.

There are other ways to update family, text, WhatsApp, not on a social media platform for all to see.

Sending love and sympathy
And yes, I don't think people realise how utterly isolating it is to be in hospital on your own with a child for a long time. Especially when you are scared for them.

It's frustrating how quick people are to judge.

I have a friend who regular posts pictures of her teen dd in hospital after an epileptic fit. I absolutely hate it. I've had to hide her posts. Just to be clear, in RL I've given her a lot of support. I think it's just wrong.

I think that if you read some of the examples from people on this thread who have posted photos on social media, you can understand how it can be a way to cope and get through tough times. I do find it hard to judge because I am not in their shoes. It's complicated and you can't just generalise it as attention seeking for example.

Perhaps her teen wants the photos to be shared,.so people can understand the impact epilepsy has on her life?

I find children and teens with chronic and devastating conditions often get very little sympathy, support or understanding, unless they have a condition that triggers an immediate visceral reaction in people. Many just struggle on without people really realising how difficult their lives are.

Maybe. I'm sure they get something out of it. I wouldn't do it personally. One of my dcs is often in and out of hospital, I can't imagine putting his pic on social media.

If they want to share photos with friends and family who are concerned, WhatsApp is the way forward.

Facebook, especially if you have lots of 'friends' is way too invasive of the child's privacy.

My granddaughter was seriously ill in hospital for a ten days last year. My DD (normally pretty active on FB) didn't post a thing about it, not even a status, on there. She just kept us and her very closest friends updated with photos via WhatsApp.

But that is exactly whta people are saying, its to garner sympathy and seek attention for how awful things are

Its no one elses business, illness doesnt have to be performed, you dont need acknowledgement from others about how awful something is do you? And if you do, why? Why do you need constant validation about something that is private to you?

You can’t possibly know why other people post photos so don’t judge.

i posted photos of my daughter on Facebook when she was having chemotherapy, bald, with an NG tube and looking very unwell. Partly to communicate with those close to me at a time when I had very little energy to do anything. Partly to raise awareness and money - over £5000 in the end - for charity. I don’t regret doing it and I don’t agree that it was “sick”

Weird. Because some illness sufferers are considered brave and given Damehoods etc for doing just that. What's the criteria that makes it ok? My friend did a separate Instagram page to share all about her cancer battle. Is that ok or is it attention seeking?

If a teen is lonely and isolated due to epilepsy or ME or whatever why should they suffer in silence? Why shouldn't they seek support from the community around them? Why shouldn't they educate people on how it impacts their lives?

What things have to be suffered behind closed doors and what is it deemed acceptable to share about?

How do people raise awareness and raise funds for research if they don't share about what life looks like with the condition?

(Just to add, I don't do this but I can totally see why people do)

This. Just because you can dosent mean you should.

I think if it helps you then it’s fine. I don’t get the idea that it should be done on WhatsApp but not FB. Just because you have a load of randoms on fb doesn’t mean everyone does. My fb is ONLY my family and real friends. When my child was seriously ill for months their posts were a light in a dark dark time. I didn’t need to perform for their empathy and sympathy nor ask for their prayers because they were already offered.

Judging people in the way this thread does says rather more about you than it does the people you are seeking to belittle.

I know teens that are horrified and very upset that this has been shared, much of it can be seen by classmates, boy/girlfriends and employers.

There is a difference in sharing on a locked down account with people you actually know.

The support gained by the poster is one thing but it is at the privacy of another.