Am I being too sensitive?

[crystalship]

I have been calorie counting for quite a while to drop some weight (currently 10 stone 7).

Went on holiday early September and haven't yet got back into the swing of dieting.

Husband mentioned early in the week that he hadn't seen me diet in a while.
Said I hadn't got back into the swing of things since being away.

Had some chocolate last night. He said it again. I haven't seen you diet in a while, so I bit back and said "ditto" I haven't seen you diet in a while. His response was "I don't need to diet".

I took that as, I don't need to diet but you do!

He then called me a "paranoid freak" as he meant he doesn't need to calorie count.

Told him he's mentioned my dieting twice this past week.
Said I'm a paranoid freak and I just take things the wrong way.
Total disregard for how it made me feel.

I wouldn’t really like that either and being called a paranoid freak when you raise it isn’t great.

I wouldn't like it at all.

You don't even weigh alot unless you are extremely short (child height).

Its the way its said

What an arse. You're not being sensitive at all. Ask him when he's going to do something about his bald patch, see how he likes it.

I'm 5 foot 4. I do need to lose a few pounds to feel comfortable again but I think he was being really insensitive and then I thought she gaslighting because he said I took it the wrong way and I'm a paranoid freak.

I think it depends how it was meant and only you/your husband know that. I can see where I’d say something like this to my husband or he would to me and it wouldn’t as a dig or an insult, just sort of an conversation incase either of us wanted to discuss and also we have different goals so we eat differently for those goals (i.e. running vs swimming vs weight lifting), or an observation, if I noticed my husband wasn’t eating a tin of tuna or protein bar in the afternoon to hit his protein target anymore I’d make a similar comment that he hadn’t been doing that/dieting, not as an insult just as it’s something I’d notice.

So really it depends, if he’s said it as a “you need to diet again” then that’s rubbish of him. If he’s just said it as a “ah have you decided not to do that anymore” or just an observation then that’s different.

It's the paranoid freak comment that's the real giveaway. He likes to criticise, but he doesn't like it back.

Well no, you're not a paranoid freak. He's an arsehole.

What business is it of his?
Your body, your weight, your choice.
He sounds a very critical unpleasant man.

So he's just apologised. He said sorry calling you a paranoid freak I took it too far.

I said well you've hurt my feelings. And he said for goodness sake I've apologised can you not just drop it and not carry it on!

He can apologise and I have to stop feeling hurt immediately.

I like him less and less.

You might be too sensitive generally but definitely not in this scenario. Does he have a habit of being nasty on special occasions?

He sounds awful and nasty.
Your diet is none of his business.
Sounds like he is a bully.
I bet this behaviour is not a one off.

Be careful OP, he sounds a bit abusive.

Hes a fucking bellend.

YANBU. At all. Not even a tiny bit.

Show him this thread to show him not 1 person agrees with him.

He sounds horrible!

And i agree that’s not a particularly high weight.

You have the right to make your own decisions about what you eat and drink, to relax and not feel policed in your own home.

Anyway, at least you can diet if you want to, but sadly he can’t grow a different, less nasty personality. (Some sort of Winston Churchill mid-quote / paraphrase I think? 😂)

You are 2lb off a healthy BMI, what a prick.

Saying sorry is different to being sorry. If you're actually sorry you accept the consequences of your words/actions, you don't demand immediate absolution. He's not sorry he just wants you to shut up about it and let him off. He doesn't sound like a very nice man OP.

He sounds like a prick. I would be angry.

You do sound quite paranoid about your weight......

The freak bit is unpleasant though

You're a paranoid freak? My god. What is the MATTER with these men?

Tell him you'll lose a few pounds easily, but his dick will never grow to a satisfactory size

Sorry....don't say that , it's childish 🙄

I'll be over in a tick to help you bury him 🤣

So he apologised to shut you up? That's not an apology. That's not a caring person. Sorry op but I would guess this is not the first time he's reacted this way and you've felt hurt and gaslit by him.

Also, there's no such thing as being "too" sensitive or oversensitive. You feel what you feel, no judgement needed.

When you've both calmed down you need to explain to him that his impulsive attacks and name calling have consequences. They hurt your feelings, and those hurt feelings remain even after he's superficially said 'sorry'.

Words do damage. Lasting damage, especially if he thinks he can just say sorry and then attack you again when you don't just go 'oh ok love no problem!'

The simple answer is for him to not name call in the first place, surely.

'I haven't seen you diet' equals 'I have seen you eating'.
How can you see someone dieting? He's a fucking eejit. I'd tell him to mind his own business. If he won't be supportive then he needs to shut the fuck up.

Your husband sounds like a nasty piece of work.