Fridays

[twistagainandagain]

The kids look tired on a Friday so I think a snuggle on the sofa.
DH wants to play after work and relaxes by exercising so they play sports in the garden. He wants them to chill out after.
Them revved up, bickering, sweaty and snappy. Crying and don’t want to go to bed.
YABU - Chill out. Precious bonding and they could burn off energy.
YANBU - No one has the capacity for competitive games. He could do this type of play in the morning.

I think if kids are up for exercise at any time it’s better to let them do it. It’s too easy to get into habits where your default is to sit on the sofa.

Let him then sort them out afterwards?

No exercise doesn’t always have to be done in the morning.

Sometimes it’s nice to chill out.

It’s not one or the other.

He’s had a hard, long day so wants to flop afterwards too. Do I disappear for the next hour and a half?

There’s a balance to be had.

If DC are happy to run around, it’s good for them rather than just plonking them on the sofa.

Equally, why would you not help with them after, if not to punish DH for playing with his kids? If you’re a team, surely you sort them out together, he shouldn’t be disappearing any more than you should.

If DC have energy to burn and enjoy sport then YABU to expect them to 'snuggle on the sofa' all evening

Surely the children would say if they didn't want to play? I don't get the issue really- you want to relax and you can have a cuppa whilst they play outside with him, and then you both do bath/shower/bed or relaxing after surely? It's brilliant for exercise to be seen as enjoyable and to be whenever in the day.

Agree it's about balance and finding a compromise. Exercise is good for the kids but not right before bed unless a bath or something would help them wind down

He can settle them because proper exercise comes with proper wind down time not many children can go from start to stop in an instant

Eh? Just let him get on with it including the bedtime routine.

What do the children want? Can you have both? Games straight after school and then comfy sofa time after dinner.

I don't see the issue, unless your need to be right is what you're focusing on?

Most children would rather have fun and play with their dad than snuggle on the sofa. Children like playing.

Are you annoyed that the kids chose to play rather than snuggle?

i think fresh air and exercise solves a lot of issues

It was the all the tears afterwards about going to bed that was all.

I get that but children often get teary and a bit much when they’re tired and finish doing something they’ve loved doing. I honestly think the benefits of spending that time exercising and playing with Dad outweigh that though and don’t feel them vegging on the sofa is the better option. Dad needs to pull his weight with bedtime as well though so maybe have a chat with him.

How old are the kids?

It's pretty normal for kids to want to play. Even if they are a bit tired

Maybe he had them playing for too long, perhaps watch out for signs they need to stop before your DH thinks so.

If they are arguing and stropping, who should call time on it if I’m not out there?
If I leave them to it, it goes on and everyone’s wound up.

It’s no big thing. Just wanted to see if I need to wind my neck in. I’m just happy and grateful they all love playing really.

I think you're massively over thinking it all tbh. I
DC get ratty no matter what, especially on a Friday after a week at school.
It's going to happen sometimes.
Try not to worry about what happens when you're not there.

What are they playing outside? Are they playing nicely or faking out? How old are they? What time is it?

I’d be happy for them to all play outside if they wanted to and were getting on. When they start whinging, I’d say it was time to come in, have a bath and a snack and watch a film in pyjamas. Ours used to do that in our bed on a Friday night sometimes and we could watch something else downstairs.

Older primary. Around 6:30/7pm. Playing football nicely but it gets competitive. They then come in for snack and chill.

It’s nothing really is it. Kids do get ratty after a long week and all that’s happening is that they are out there a bit too long sometimes.

I do overthink things which is why I like to have other opinions. See if I’m overthinking again 😂