To wish DP was also an early riser sometimes

[Lux1982]

I am an early riser by nature not by choice. I would like to experience sleeping in as much as DP can but when I am awake I am awake and I can’t fall back asleep no matter how hard I try. I wake up between 6-7am most days even weekends. I get up and get jobs done as quietly as I can so not to wake DP and the children up.

Really what I like to do is take the dog out for a long walk at that time especially if it’s not raining I love to go. By the time I get back DP might be awake, we shower and the day starts.

DP doesn’t like me taking the dog out that early he likes to come too. He likes us to do our weekend dog walks together as couple time. This is fine if we have nothing else to do. Problem is he has made plans for 11am for us to go for a coffee with someone and it will take us an hour to get there and I would need to shower, wash & dry hair etc. Last night I said I might take the dog out if I woke up first he said no, wake me at 8.30am we will have plenty of time to go. But I’ve already been up since 6.30am and I am bored now, and it will be a rush, the dog walk will be 20-30 mins not an hour and just round the block, not the nice country walk I would have done. I am annoyed I didn’t just go out when I first woke up so I suppose this is my own fault. If I wait for him to wake up I have to shower now ready for later on and get sweaty I would rather shower after my walk.

We have been together for years but the dog is a new addition so we are trying to adapt to having very different sleep patterns. Do other early risers just live their own secular early lives rather than sitting waiting for someone else to wake up I am not BU that that’s silly right?

Lucky dog can have 2 walks, early one with you, later one with both of you, it works for us.

It sounds like you walk on eggshells around him.

This! I am an early riser while DH likes to lie in. I don't begrudge him his lie in as he works blooming hard all week and likes to snooze on a weekend morning. So I get up early and walk the dogs. Then we get back and I curl up with them on the sofa with a coffee while I wait for DH to get up. When he comes down for his breakfast I nip up and take a shower and get myself up. We then will go out again with the dogs together when we are both ready. I get 2 walks, he gets his walk and everyone is happy.

Couples are quite often larks and owls aren’t they? I’m the late riser in our house and quite often my DH has done a thousand jobs and chores before I’ve had my first coffee.

Your DH is being unreasonable here by insisting you delay the dog walk. Equally you need to stop being a wet wipe. Don’t tiptoe around him and appease him just to avoid a ‘silly row’ - just tell him you’re taking the dog at 8am (or whatever time fits) and he’s either up and ready or not. His choice. Let him be arsy. It’s nice to do stuff together but sometimes divide and conquer is the better option.

If you’re leaving the house at 10 and need to wash and dry your hair and get ready before you go, then going for a dog walk after you’ve woken him at 8.30 seems daft! I would have told him that last night and then did what I wanted to anyway.

Just walk the dog yourself in the morning and have the shared dog walk in the evening. Surely you walk the dog twice a day? I really couldn't be giving this so much head space.

Yeah this was my original thought and I was right! We did not get time to walk and we are running 10 mins late.

I won’t be doing this again next time I will just go do what I want. Thanks!

We are nearly 60, met in our 50's. My DP has developed health issues, likes a drink of a weekend, so sleeps in. I had resentment at first, but we were heading to split because I felt stifled. Now we've come to an agreement. The meet up at 11 would have been our time, the time before that would have been my time. We make an effort to have tea out, watch a box set etc, but I've got to have my freedom. Resentment, breaking promises etc is really damaging to a relationship. Most couples have to have honest conversations through their life stages about personal space.

Can't the dog have two walks? He sounds really controlling tell you that you can't walk the dog when you want to.

We were always stupidly smug about how we had different clocks so babies etc were easier because we could tag team. Turns out now I’d totally tell new couples if your clocks don’t align it’s a HUGE issue. Dh recently told me (while we were fighting) how it was a pity I never stayed in bed in the morning or stayed up eg for a full film. I said it was a pity he didn’t get up early with me or go to bed early. Hope ye figure it out!