Background: brought me up as a young single mother, provides childcare once a week, does a lot for us, has been on and off very ill over the years. Looks after my DS who struggles with mental illness too.
My Mum is very hot and cold with me. I have a DS who is two and it's making me see things clearer. I'm not a perfect daughter or I'm at least made to feel I'm not, but im certainly not a bad person. I often feel anxious/worse after our phone calls. Today my DS has tonsilities, FIL is sick. Its been a tiring day but nothing major. My Mum rang and was telling her about trying to balance looking after FIL and DS, to which she replied 'why is DS even that sick?'. Then I said its fine, im just trying to balance the day. She replied 'well I solo parented for years and made a living'.
My sister who lives with her is currently under going mental health assessments and my Mum seems to be making them about her. She comments about how devastated she is that DS has depression. I try be very relaxed about this to balance overreaction. She said 'why aren't you saying anything more? We're distraught'. Myself and others in family believe the diagnosis is made worse by Mum.
The morning of my wedding she also rang me to say 'she was devastated my Grandmother couldn't attend due to illness'. I rang my aunty and uncle that morning to ask that she doesn't call me about being devastated on my wedding day. The day after baby was born she kept commenting how everyone assumed she would have met baby by now, even though hospital only allowed partners in. Our cat died earlier this year, I know its 'just' a pet but she replied telling me she had a cold and humans are more important.
I've had a lot of counselling over this relationship but I find myself more and more insecure. Thank you if you got this far x