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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aspirational/admirable in middle age

39 replies

Wisenotboring · 04/10/2024 19:19

I am approaching/in middle age and like to reflect and do a bit of an 'audit' of where I am up to from time to time. I'm really interested to hear what you would perceive to be aspirational or admirable traits in women in this time of life. I've got my own ideas, but it's good to hear some.diffwrnet views.

OP posts:
SunsetSkylane · 04/10/2024 20:47

I don't think there's any judgement, just people answering the question honestly.

AreMyEyesGreen · 04/10/2024 20:56

I love this thread & I think you all sound utterly fantastic!!

Original poster
Wisenotboring · 04/10/2024 20:58

Fitness is definitely on my priority list for the next decade. I know what i do with my body now is highly likely to affect what I am.able to do in future years. Being outward looking approach is also important I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wisenotboring · 04/10/2024 20:58

AreMyEyesGreen · 04/10/2024 20:56

I love this thread & I think you all sound utterly fantastic!!

Yes, so inspiring.

OP posts:
AreMyEyesGreen · 04/10/2024 21:00

I need to focus on fitness too. I'm making that my 2025 goal! I'm contemplating joining a gym for the first time in my life!

Sunbeam18 · 04/10/2024 21:02

I love this thread, 52 here and enjoying this stage

Icanttakethisanymore · 04/10/2024 21:02

I think aging comfortably is aspirational. Looking after oneself from a health perspective bit not getting hung up on the aesthetics of being older.

AltReality · 04/10/2024 21:13

Being bold and making significant life changes if you unhappy with the status quo.

I quit teaching, retrained and started a new career at 55. Not looked back since.

newname642 · 04/10/2024 21:29

What was your new career, AltReality?

AltReality · 04/10/2024 22:07

I re-trained as a web developer. That was two years ago and after some hiccups along the way (ie doing other jobs) I've got a job on the design side as opposed to building, which I enjoy much more. It's more creative, but knowing the technical side of things helps.

I am not sure that I would recommend anyone to move into tech at the moment, the job market is brutal.

However, I would say that if you want to leave teaching that you should go for it. Sometimes you just have to take a leap into the unknown.

jackstini · 04/10/2024 22:31

Financially astute with a plan for retirement
Some good solid friends/family you can trust, be yourself with, and who would be there for you no matter what
A hobby, interest or job which just makes your heart happy
Ticked off some of the bucket list items you put on it a few years ago, and added some new ones
Some outfits in your wardrobe that make you feel bloody marvellous
Things in your home that bring you joy when you see them

coffeeandfags99 · 04/10/2024 22:36

SophiaCohle · 04/10/2024 20:32

Mid-50s and been doing a rather panicky life audit on myself over the last two or so years following a series of personal catastrophes.

My career had taken a massive hit because of kids and useless DH, so I've overhauled that, set goals, gone back to postgrad study and clarified in my own mind where all of this is going. I've taken a cold, hard look at my finances, which are in dire shape, but again, I've got a plan. I've stopped regarding myself as a disembodied mind and started having a bit more respect for my body, eating better, exercising, joined a gym, lost 3 stone in 2 years but need to lose more, sorting out longstanding health issues. Backbone to all of this has been regular sessions with a psychotherapist, picking apart childhood issues, relationship issues, parenting of my own children issues, career/money issues, and just generally moving on from shoddy habits and into the life I'd actually like to be living. Had a lot of good advice on here too.

Not sure if that answers your question and I'm still very much a work-in-progress but I guess to sum up I think middle-aged women should be looking onward and outward, not congratulating themselves (or feeling sorry for themselves) and slowing down.

🔥👍🏻👌🏻🥰

Blanketyre · 04/10/2024 22:40

AreMyEyesGreen · 04/10/2024 19:43

I'm 54 & for me taking on new challenges & learning new things & not stagnating is my main drive. I'm full of curiosity & since turning 50 I have completed a post masters course overseas in a really interesting very specialised area which involved a lot of travel to places I'd never been before.

I've changed jobs as a result of this into a specialist, developing area of practice in my field & I'm now working with amazing teams & great budgets to realise projects.

I've taken on a personal academic challenge not at all related to my work & I've gone to an international event related to this study & realised I was as knowledge about this niche thing as many of the people there who were making a career out of it & I was simply doing it out of interest. That was an enormous boost.

I have a wide & eclectic group of friends who are all working in creative sectors & I have the best stimulating & fun conversations with them

I have a couple of incredibly close friends who are family to me & have known me since we were kids.

I've led out on some of the most cutting edge pioneering work in my field in my previous job.

I'm married over 20 years & adore my dh & we have the best time together & we've raised a fantastic dc who is now in university.

I feel incredibly happy & lucky to be where I am!

I'm amazed you spend time on mumsnet!

GiddyRobin · 05/10/2024 17:51

A woman I admire greatly is now in her 70s. I've known her a long while, since her 50s, and she's always been absolutely inspiring in so many ways.

She's was an architect, and did very very well for herself. So eloquent and well read, grasped life with both hands and took it for all it was worth. Brilliant relationships with her adult children. Lots of friends, is the life of a party whilst remaining quietly spoken and not at all egregious. The people she's met and the stories she has to tell!

She's gorgeous. Aged gracefully without a speck of "work". Very fit and graceful, a wonderful style. She's still out riding horses and she introduced DH and I to fencing. Incredible woman.

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