To want to know who my son is meeting?

[WaffleWeave]

He is 16 and going on a date tomorrow in a different town. He wouldn’t tell me who with! So I did some internet sleuthing (just social media names, public info) and found out who it is. He was annoyed that I did this, but there are dodgy people out there and I wanted to be sure!! It’s a genuine person his own age (with mutual friends on mine) so all good. But what do you think? Would you have done the same?

Is this a genuine post? If so no, it’s batshit and you’ll be lucky if he tells you anything again.

Lol no.

My dd has told me nothing since she was about 11 and I let her keep it this way.

Excellent way to lose his trust there!

So clearly there is a history of you overstepping with him which is why he didn’t tell you anything.

‘Maybe the real question you should be asking yourself is “Help my 16 yo son won’t tell me anything because I have a history of X, Y, and Z. How do I change so we can have an open relationship and he can trust me?”

Yanbu I’d want to know. I don’t understand parents who aren’t interested in who their teenagers are hanging out with.

Well I get it if you have a 16 year old who is out and working etc. But in my eyes if they’re still at school / sixth form living under my roof, they are still my responsibility

Erm.. is this real? 11!?

Lucky for most kids, there parents actually give more of a shit about them than you seem to

There’s being interested though and this… two extremes. There’a a few stops along the way.

@blackrabbitwhiterabbit
Have you no interest in her life?

I'm not sure that's something to brag about

You can't be serious?? Absolutely nuts if this is real!! 🤯

As @Candyfluffs says, you are responsible for your DS16 so you should know whom he's meeting and where, not in a controlling way but as part of your parental remit. If it all goes wrong, he'll need your help and you need to know how to help.
For comparison, DD17 has a group of college friends in another town but I heard about them for a long time (e.g. they ate lunch together and have some lessons together) and knew a little about them. There was no secrecy on her part.

Yanbu for doing a bit of digging and wanting to know but YABU for telling him you did it of course he'd be annoyed

People are becoming adults and want to keep it that way.
Even as a teen
Just say if he ever needs to talk, your are there for him

Weird people on mumsnet. Of course you’re not being unreasonable. He’s a child fgs. He’s going to a different town with god knows who. If he’s not going to tell you then he doesn’t go end of.

😂😂

Yanbu but there are ways to go about it.

Why wouldn’t he tell you? My DC travelled to London to meet there online BF. We looked up his family on FB and my DC asked me to message his parent to make sure they had been told and were also ok with it.

They were also 16 at the time.

11????? Really! Christ

Wow. That's not the flex you think it is.