Help from mothers - office forgot to arrange maternity gift for coworker

[Anmar06]

I am ‘new’ at my office and, recently, found out my coworkers had the unspoken expectation for me to arrange a maternity gift collection for the only other female assistant. She has already had the baby and I feel baby stuff would be a bit insensitive (the baby was born un july!!). What would mumsnet recommend? I want to just send flowers but some of my coworkers feel its too impersonal. I feel this far off from the due date these are essentially apology flowers…

Is it your job because your like… office assistant and it’s in your job role to arrange “extra curricular” stuff like collections?

Or is it your job because the others are all men so they expected “the woman” to do “women’s work.”

I’d be kicking up a fuss if it’s the latter and wouldn’t be doing it for them.

John Lewis voucher

This. Having a vagina doesn't give you a magical ability to buy presents for a woman you've never even met and your colleagues presumably know well! I would point this out very clearly and make it clear you are deeply unimpressed with their incompetence and sexism.

If it's a fairly small amount Boots voucher could be good. Don't put the money upfront yourself - make sure it is collected before you spend anything.

I'd send a Thinking of You card rather than Congratulations and a Just Eat voucher. I know when mine were 3 months old all I wanted was a meal I didn't have to think about or clean up from!

Arrange an e card for her. There are ones that have a gift card facility for places like John Lewis.

It's definitely not too late for baby stuff. She's likely to have lots of smaller sized stuff so if you got her age 6-9 months autumn/winter stuff I'm sure it'll be appreciated.

Flowers for your colleague too, the mums always get forgotten!

Voucher would definitely be helpful coming up to christmas - you could even get a spa voucher or something like that to treat the mother! If you do buy something make sure to get a gift receipt so she can change it - the present we got from my partners work was lovely but we have a few similar things we had already opened so it is unopened in the box!

I’m six months in, I’d LOVE a present if clothes right now 😂 or a JL voucher.

Don’t do it. They’re trying to push this on you, and doing it will only demonstrate that they can. You’ll just reinforce that yes, this is women’s work.

I don’t think it’s too late. As others suggested send cosy things in age 3-6 months, or maybe a baby bloom hamper or a luxurious blanket with baby name embroidered. Not sure of budgets but my favourite thing is my Brora cashmere baby blanket. I’ve also got a really nice merino wool one.

My colleagues sent me a bouquet of roses but they weren't flowers, they were baby socks and grows which I LOVED. Also a post care grooming kit for me and my baby, I think John Lewis do some. They contain stuff like cream for the baby & mum and some other self care products. They would be greatly appreciated!

I don’t think I’d get ‘Thinking of You’ that’s an alternative to a Sympathy card or someone who is stressed. Don’t anyone say that parents are stressed so it will do because the sentiments you are aiming for in this circumstance are different

Flowers and a voucher for somewhere that doesn't sell baby clothes and a message "now that the baby is a few months old, I hope you are feeling like yourself again, please treat yourself".