To ask DH to stop whistling.

[wouldthatbeworse]

I HATE it. It's making me furious with him, but it's not really him who's the problem. I HATE the sound of the whistling (regardless of who it's coming from). Is it reasonable to ask him not to whistle in his own home when I'm there? He will almost certainly catalogue my annoying behaviours in return.

I understand, OP, I hate the sound of whistling too. All I can suggest is that you wait until all is calm and then you nicely try to explain that it's not him, but it really affects you negatively.

I used to have a neighbour who was always whistling and let's just say it is just as well firearms are illegal in this country.

i’ll wager that fact you’re starting this thread means you have asked him multiple times

and he ignores you

He will almost certainly catalogue my annoying behaviours in return.

Why? He's meant to cherish you and improve your life hugely.
I wouldn't be attracted to a whistler, people who do it are irritating.
^^

Can you do anything that he particularly hates?

Ds2 hates the sound of me whistling. I hate the sound of him cracking his knuckles. So we agreed that I wouldn't whistle in front of him and he wouldn't crack his knuckles in front of me.

Occasionally I forget and whistle a merry little tune and he responds with some percussion on the knuckles. Then I stop whistling, he stops knuckle-cracking and harmony is restored.

Is there something similar you could do?

I don't think I've ever asked him to stop. I've always wanted to, but it feels a bit too much like saying "can you not be you".

so instead seethe with rage inside and no doubt he wonders what the hell is going on?

I can't think of anything so directly equivalent. I can see this working very well. But nagging / not tidying up after myself / leaving lights on etc feels like a race to the bottom.

Just ask him! What's he going to do? Think you're an awful wife?

I detest whistling and always tell my husband to please stop when he does it.

We're not divorced.... yet 🤣

For some people, like my ds2, the sound of whistling is unbearably piercing. (I feel the same about solo violins, weirdly. Makes my ear throb.)

I, like your DH could for you if he wanted to, choose not to inflict that feeling on ds2. Instead, I wait until he's out of earshot. I'm still 'being me'.

He could choose to stop or a divorce if it was my husband.

That's about right. The mysterious female rage may be about to get less mysterious.

I think that's a bit unreasonable

If my husband ever dares to whistle, I tell him to stop immediately. It’s really an obnoxious thing and no-one should whistle within earshot of anyone. Ever.

Why can’t you just tell him?

bloody hell

no need to go in all guns blazing

just “Any chance you could save the whistling to when you’re alone DH?!”

To unpack why I haven't asked him... I guess I often feel like I'm telling him to do or not do something and he very rarely tells me what to do or not do.

It's the classic mental load situation. DH does more than 50% of the household chores and childcare but I do 90% of the making sure it gets done. He will receive the news about his whistling quite personally.

He generally whistles when he's in another room to me. So from his perspective he is alone. But the house is neither big nor soundproof.

DH…. If i make you a brew will you stop whistling?!

My brother does this a lot. I haven't seen him in 6 months after a fall out. I kind of miss it

It's banned in my house. I will actually leave a room if someone starts whistling. I've even banned it at work. I don't care if people thing I'm a control freak, the sound cuts through me like a knife and causes irrational anger.
I've gotten off a bus before because there was a whistler sat a few seats behind me.

Yes you can ask. I have extreme irritation and rage at certain noises and whistling is one of them. My son used to love doing it but after I asked him to stop and explained why, he has. It's not like he can't whistle when I am out of earshot. I don't think it should be too difficult for him to stop personally

Whistlers are the worst. It makes me murderous to hear.
And ime, if you politely ask them to stop, they give a merry laugh and carry on.
They only person not annoyed by whistling is the whistler themselves!

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR WHATEVER RANDOM TUNE IS IN YOUR HEAD.

That's for the whistlers, the hummers, the deedee-ers, the finger drummers, the foot tappers and anyone else generally being annoying

I think it would very likely irritate me long term so yes, I might see no harm in speaking to him about it.

Is he a nice, tuneful whistler though? Or is he one who couldn't tell a flute from a fart? Just curious. 🤣

Utterly tuneless for those asking.
We are both prone to a bit of random singing around the house. I don't find that nearly as annoying.

My DH is a tuneless singer, so thankfully he doesn't subject us to that. I know he'd be an equally tuneless whistler too. He can't carry a tune in his head at all.

I can't claim to be great at either of them, but can carry a tune or melody in my mind.

My Dad was totally tuneless too. It was one of his friends who gave us the analogy of "couldn't tell a flute from a fart" when referring to him. My mother agreed that he had a "tin ear" as she put it.

Off topic, I know.