Child being hurt at school

[Mumofsend]

My son is 8, has an EHCP and has autism, adhd and other needs. Very chilled, non bothersome. Can't really communicate if there is an issue.

There is another child in his year, also has an ehcp. Much more physical in his presentation.

Every single day this year my son has come home upset he's being screamed at by this boy. There has been physical incidents. Always at lunch time. Yesterday the boy was off and my son came home excited he could eat his lunch next to his friend without being screamed at. Monday he was pushed over and hit with a board. Not a single member of staff saw the incident and my son can't communicate it with them.

I emailed school on Tuesday at 9am and have had no response. I told my son's TA who told me the headship were aware.

I have absolutely zero ill feeling towards the boy who is struggling, but I do expect my son to be safe. Am I being unreasonable to expect some form of contact to let me know how they plan to keep him safe from the school and quite quickly?

Not a single member of staff saw the incident and my son can't communicate it with them.

You are honestly saying no member of staff hasn’t seen your son being “screamed at” “every day this year”? 🫤

Are you possibly exaggerating using the word “screamed at”?

How does he communicate? If this consistent he needs a way to alert an adult. Do either have an lsa?

It is how my son describes it. He says he screams at him, then cries and runs off. I've heard him screaming outside of school, at a birthday party, so I can't say it is far fetched if it is anything similar.

You need to phone the school to make an appointment to go in and discuss these issues.

I think the school would have at least noticed this boy screaming every day at your son

is it possible that if your son has very significant communication issues that the use of the word “screaming every day” might not actually be reality?

Presumably you have discussed this at length with the school over the last 10 months to find out what they’re doing about the “screaming”?

Well they didn't see my child being hit with a board or shoved over or left with a giant goose egg either so..

that was an incident

“every day” from the start of the year…. “screaming” at your son? somewhat different

but have you once in the last 10 months spoken to the school about the daily screaming?

Where has 10 months come from, I said this year as in academic year? And yes I have spoken to them multiple times.

Both boys have TAs, one definitely doesn't need lunch time supervision but the other really does need it. It's a huge school of 700.

Go down there in person, otherwise they will avoid addressing. Wait until you get an appointment. My DC went through something similar. I emailed the school every single time and noted I was logging every single incident. When it didn’t improve, I went and spoke to reception in person every single time. Funnily enough it stopped pretty quickly after that.

Convenient they don't see anything, isn't it.

Email won't cut it, you need to be face to face with leadership and not take being fobbed off.

Every single day this year

Forgive me for thinking you meant the beginning of the year!

Why is your child able to communicate to you what has happened during the school day, but not able to tell school staff at the time?

Is there an element of mutism at play or is it that you can understand him and others can't, or something like that?

I'm wondering if there is a way he can use to communicate that isn't verbal, that can be put in place at school?

I'd also complainto the school that he's not safe, and how will they keep him safe - don't think of it as complaining about the other child, it may well be complaints are needed so the school and parents have evidence that he needs 1:1 funding at break times to keep him and others safe.

So the school has confirmed they are aware of the daily screaming at your son?

I’m really sorry that your son is having such a hard time at school. It’s so important that he can communicate this with you each day.

It sounds like repeated, persistent,
targeted verbal and physical abuse towards your son is taking place, which in most schools bullying policy would be defined as this. The school are aware and are failing to safeguard your son. Your son is more vulnerable due to his inability to communicate it to them, and possibly defend himself from what you’ve described?

read up on their bullying and safeguarding policy and then clearly put in writing your concerns to the SLT and ask for the meeting. If no response in the expected time scale, escalate it as per policy. Keep notes and a log of everything, treat them as a professional to ensure they’re taking no you seriously.

and have a massive hug, x

No, you are not being unreasonable asking for the school to put some safeguarding steps in place.

Some really weird comments on here about "well, is he being hit/screamed at/shoved every day?" which read as if people don't believe that a boy with special needs could lash out every day or as if it is probably just every other day, so your son is exaggerating and should just put up with it. Very odd comments. I absolutely would talk to the school and ask them to put some systems in place. If your son can't communicate things verbally then they need to give him a sign or signal he can use to alert staff if things are not right.

If your son can't communicate and staff haven't seen anything, how do you know he is being screamed at?

Make an appointment to speak to the Senco. They will know both children well and senior enough in school to make changes.

There are two issues - the actions of the other child against your DS and your DS not having an effective way of communicating with staff when something has happened.

Ask if the Senco can observe your DS, for the lunchtime staff to have training about his needs and for a system to be put in place so he can communicate how his lunchtime has gone. With 700 children, there should be enough time, space and staff for school to make arrangements for the two children to not be together at lunchtimes.Make sure that whatever is proposed allows DS to be with his friends. Set a date to review how things are going.