AIBU or should the school have called me?

[lola006]

My DD12 is in Y8. She fainted yesterday morning at school while in the toilets during break with some friends. There is something that triggers the occasional fainting spell, so she knew to sit down immediately before actually fainting and therefore didn’t hit her head or anything. (This was also noted when I filled out all the forms for the school before she entered Y7.) Her friends didn’t know what to do but ultimately an older girl got a teacher for help.

DD was brought to an admin room and told to sit for awhile, and a friend stayed with her. After about 30min she rejoined her form. She asked someone there to call me, they said they would but no one did. She asked if she could text me and was told no due to the no mobile policy.

I feel like losing consciousness at school is worth a phone call home to the parents, even if she felt well enough to stay. AIBU here?

(I emailed the head of year last night and certainly didn’t expect an immediate reply but it’s now 2pm the next day and still nothing. I don’t think my email was passive aggressive or rude, I just stated that I understood why it happened and was confused as to why I wasn’t contacted.)

I agree that they should have told you about this. Communication is so easy these days.

Yes school should have called.

I would complain, calmly but clearly, and ask for confirmation if it ever happens again that you will be called.

Then reiterate this with every new HOY.

I'd expect them to call you at the very least, and some
Medical support, they have no idea why she fainted, it could have been something serious for all they knew

Bloody hell, school called me when DS claimed to feel faint after an HPV vaccine. Nurse and I were both in complete agreement that there was a strong element of this being in his head because so many of the children were getting stressed about the vaccine, but she absolutely called me anyway.

I'd be pretty cheesed off they didn't call and that they didn't call at the time. The only reason I'd accept for not calling if this is a regular thing because of x, and everyone is super used to dealing with it. But to be honest, even then I'd expect a quick note from the school nurse via email.

I understand why the schools have a no mobile policy and I’m very much in favour on the whole, but this does ultimately mean that the onus of communication falls back on the school. With schools increasingly moving towards no mobiles, systems need to be put in place to ensure that the chain of communication is still happening between the schools and families/the wider community. I’m a teacher and the amount of incidents that have happened so far this year with no follow up in my school (simply because admin have previously relied on the individual student to communicate with home via mobile) is quite shocking.

I'd expect to be called about this.

Shocking.

That's appalling. If she couldn't call you herself they definitely should have.

My school ring every time my kids have so much of a whiff of illness… including fake ones haha
I would have expected a call yes…

Absolutely yes.
Fainting makes you feel dreadful and she should have at least been given the option to talk to you, even if it’s just for reassurance. Disgusting that they have used their phone policy against an unwell child. Thank goodness for the kind older student who helped your daughter.
I fainted a few weeks ago in church, and they insisted on not letting me make my way home alone, and I am an adult!

I would consider that very poor and I would not be happy.
I would be asking for a copy of their protocol for this situation, particularly as it is noted in their files.
To refuse an unwell child the right to contact their parent is not acceptable.

Shes at secondary school. They know shes prone to fainting. She did what she did to control it. A teacher was called (who would have been the first aid on call) she assessed it. She sat quietly for a while and went back to lessons. What would a call have done except worry you when she was absolutely fine?

She can tell you when she gets home

What if she didn't mention it? Lots of reasons why she might not. She might not recall everything or be confused. She might under or overplay what happened - and I say this as the mother of a daughter with epilepsy. You need to hear it from a professional. Imo school have a duty here.

Yes, I think my children’s schools (one primary, one secondary) would have called just to let me know.

It likely wouldn’t have worried me if I had been able to ask a few simple questions immediately after it happened (was she standing? Did she hit/hurt her head? Is she feeling okay in herself?). I guess I just don’t think at 12 the school should be relying on her to pass on exact information 6hrs later when she got home; as ^ wrote what if she hadn’t even told DH and I? I have no idea what happens to most people when they faint but in DD’s case she doesn’t tend to remember much immediately before or after.

The first aider should have let you know.

However, re the HOY not having got back to you by 2pm when you emailed last night - they may well be teaching in the morning and need to get information as to what happened before they emailed you back so it wouldn't necessarily be reasonable to expect a reply already.

Yes they should have called - not least because it gives you the chance to decide about her travel home. Whilst she's on school she has them supervising her.

I would email the Admin office and ask it's escalated to the correct and state this is the outcome you'd like moving forward and you'd like a response to confirm this is their new procedure.

I'm my schools first aider.

I would absolutely call a parent in this situation and say what I've done, reassure them I'm on site all day if there's any concerns and confirm what they wanted to do.

At this school they aren’t teachers, it’s a pastoral care role. But yes, maybe I’m expecting a reply sooner than she can get one to me.

I used to faint on a not infrequent basis at school. My parents were really contactable back in the day, and tbh I knew what to do and didn't want them co tacted. However, these days I would expect the school nurse/first aider to contact you as well as have a discussion with you on how you would like this to be managed in future.