To think life is unfair - regarding natent sexuality?

[PrincessOlga]

I have read horror stories of feckless fathers mistreating their babies (and worse, I don't want to even think about these stories, they make me physically ill). I also have an acquaintance who has a daughter who has, unfortunately, just become pregnant with her useless boyfriend (who tried to get her on drugs, is violent to her, etc.).

I could not help thinking why it is that the feckless men seem to "breed like rabbits" (for want of a better phrase) - while I also know a guy who is homosexual, who loves children and is kind, hard-working and gentle, yet as he once explained to me, he is "wired up" so that he just cannot reproduce. I suggested adopting to him, because he is great with kids, but he feels strongly that a child should have a male and female parent. He has lived with women in shared flats and says he prefers female company, yet he is like a computer with hardware that has just not been "programmed" like the majority.

This is just one example I know, and there is probably some bigger "reason" in nature why it is so... but it just seems wrong to me and that it should be the other way around!

And yes, this is fair. Though I would say the same thing for the vast majority (though not all) of all the parents by adoption that I know. Having to make a conscious choice, go through a gruelling and lengthy assessment, answer a lot of difficult questions about what kinds of additional needs/disabilities etc you think you could manage etc etc makes people very realistic parents, who are very much parenting the child they have, not the child they think they should have. I've found friends who are parents via adoption very inspiring when I'm considering things about parenting my own (biological) child, especially in looking at who he is, rather than who he might be expected to be.

I wouldn't put that idea into the OPs head. There is no evidence at all this guy isn't perfectly happily child free, only that the OP seems keen to persuade him into fatherhood because SHE thinks he'd be good at it. Poor guy may well be too polite to tell OP the idea of being a father holds no appeal. So the last thing he needs is her sourcing a lesbian to make OPs dream a reality.

Yes, exactly. The OP is projecting all over the place.

Life isn't fair. Nature doesn't have any inbuilt sense of fairness about anything.

Gay people can children. It just involves extra steps.