I live abroad, quite some distance from the UK. My now ex and I split up shortly after DC was born due major issues on his side (he has acknowledged this). I have never stopped him from seeing DC, he has free access to her but his visits have become less and less and I have decided to let it be rather than chase someone to bond with their own child. As I said, communication channels are open and we have remained cordial but he has chosen to drop off the map.
I always had a good relationship with ex-DH's mum and she lives back in the UK. She has never visited DH then entire time we have lived abroad and even though DC turns 1 soon she has never visited DC or met them. DC is also her only grandchild. I have not returned to the UK as my own parents live nearby and support me with DC and what with the divorce and severe PPD I couldn't bring myself to face a long flight with a baby.
Ex's mum isn't short of money to afford flights and has travelled extensively before, so it's not a fear thing. Ex-FIL (who is divorced from ex-MIL) visited DC recently which was lovely.
I feel quite saddened that DC's grandmother doesn't seem fussed about seeing them or being updated about them. I tried to keep comms open with her but it became too painful and triggering for me and was yet more emotional labour I had to do to bail ex-DH out. So, on advice from my therapist, I dropped it and waited for them to come to me. Which neither DH nor his mum have.
DC has a wonderful relationship with my parents, we are very close and we are a little family unit now which is lovely. But I worry how on earth explain this weird emotional distance that ex-DH's family have.
AIBU unreasonable to think its weird? I also can't help blaming myself, but I am focusing on getting myself better and creating a safe and supportive environment for DC. Am I being lazy by not sending pics to ex-MIL or travelling back to the UK?