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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about catching it?

45 replies

Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:33

Name changed from my regular username because I’ve talked about it on my due date group!

Our bathroom is being refitted next week and will be completely unusable so we are staying with my parents who live 10 minutes away from Monday. DM is caring for my toddler nephew this Friday. He has had confirmed flu. His symptoms began last Thursday and it’s been horrible for him, bless him. He seems mostly better in himself but I have read online that children are infectious for 7-10 days after the onset of flu and sometimes longer. DM is caring for him on the 8th day, so he may or may not be infectious still. Both his parents have had it and still feel unwell- she will see them when she picks him up and drops him back off.

I am 34 weeks pregnant and will be seeing and staying with DM 3 days after she’s looked after my nephew. If DM is unlucky enough to catch flu from him, apparently she could be infectious a couple of days before her symptoms even begin.

I am worried about the risk of catching flu myself as I am not having my flu jab until next week.

Do you think there is risk or no more than any other every-day activities like going to the shops or hospital appointments?

Trying to be rational but also don’t want to put me and baby at risk.

OP posts:
SendMeHomeNow · 02/10/2024 22:36

If I could, I’d be making other arrangements personally. If you can’t stay anywhere else are there 2 bathrooms so you can keep your distance? I’d not be eating food she prepared or sitting together etc.

Berlinlover · 02/10/2024 22:36

YABU

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:37

SendMeHomeNow · 02/10/2024 22:36

If I could, I’d be making other arrangements personally. If you can’t stay anywhere else are there 2 bathrooms so you can keep your distance? I’d not be eating food she prepared or sitting together etc.

There are two bathrooms at theirs yeah. I could distance but would feel a bit rude in her house doing that.

OP posts:
AmeliaEarache · 02/10/2024 22:38

I had flu at 37 weeks. I felt rough but no more so than you’d expect and it had no impact on the baby. With older children at school and nursery, exposure to viruses was inevitable.

It really wasn’t a big deal. For the sake of avoiding bathroom disruptions, I’d risk it.

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:38

Logically I could get it from the supermarket or DH could bring it back from work, but it feels a bit different actually knowing about a confirmed flu case rather than it just being a cold or something

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:39

AmeliaEarache · 02/10/2024 22:38

I had flu at 37 weeks. I felt rough but no more so than you’d expect and it had no impact on the baby. With older children at school and nursery, exposure to viruses was inevitable.

It really wasn’t a big deal. For the sake of avoiding bathroom disruptions, I’d risk it.

Thank you, this is reassuring to know. I’m less bothered about getting poorly myself tbh and more just want to keep baby safe and protected

OP posts:
thaisweetchill · 02/10/2024 22:39

Can you book a travelodge/premier inn for a few days?

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:40

thaisweetchill · 02/10/2024 22:39

Can you book a travelodge/premier inn for a few days?

We can but it would be expensive. The main issue will be having access to a shower I suppose. Maybe it would be less risky to just go for a shower on an evening but stay at our house whilst the work is being completed.

OP posts:
PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 02/10/2024 22:43

I'd be avoiding walking into this tbh. The flu jab is given to pregnant women for a very good reason.
Is it possible to reschedule your building work to give your family time to recover?

mynewhouse · 02/10/2024 22:43

I’ve only had an actual flu once. I was young and healthy and it knocked the absolute crap out of me. I lost weight and it took a while to get over it.
YANBU imo to be worried about getting it when you’re heavily pregnant and I do think there’s a reasonable chance you could catch it in those circumstances.

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:44

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 02/10/2024 22:43

I'd be avoiding walking into this tbh. The flu jab is given to pregnant women for a very good reason.
Is it possible to reschedule your building work to give your family time to recover?

I thought so too. There is no guarantee my mum will catch it from my nephew on day 8 of his illness but equally I think the risk is still slightly there. We can’t reschedule the work as it will be much more inconvenient having no bathroom when baby is here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:46

DM has already offered to stay with my sister next week so we can stay in their house without them being there... DF is working away, so it’s probably easy enough for her to do. The fact she has offered this kindly is making me wonder if she also thinks it’s a risk. If she did do this though, would you feel better about staying in their house even though nephew would’ve been there 3 days prior and my parents would have been there all weekend, having possibly picked up flu?

OP posts:
mynewhouse · 02/10/2024 22:55

I would avoid going there unless I really had to if it was me. I’d say there’s less chance of you catching it if she’s not there but it’s still a bit of a risk. I think you just have to use your best judgment here, op.

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 23:01

mynewhouse · 02/10/2024 22:55

I would avoid going there unless I really had to if it was me. I’d say there’s less chance of you catching it if she’s not there but it’s still a bit of a risk. I think you just have to use your best judgment here, op.

Thank you. It’s just tricky, the only other place we could stay is 40 miles away and I don’t really wanna be there for a whole week 😆 it’s a pain for DH’s work too. We do only have the one bathroom. We could always shower at the gym I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 23:07

It is just difficult as I can’t see a solution where we are able to shower without staying at DMs. There isn’t really another relative locally other than my sibling who is the household with flu.

OP posts:
Mossstitch · 02/10/2024 23:13

Usually when a bathroom is revamped they leave the toilet working til last and refit that first, if you know what i mean, so that you are not actually left without a toilet. I'm sure you could manage to wash when the workmen have gone even if it's in the kitchen and go and use a cafe toilet if you need it whilst the workmen are there.

bluecampbell · 02/10/2024 23:15

Just a thought, do you have friendly neighbours where you could go for a shower, maybe every other day?

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 23:18

Mossstitch · 02/10/2024 23:13

Usually when a bathroom is revamped they leave the toilet working til last and refit that first, if you know what i mean, so that you are not actually left without a toilet. I'm sure you could manage to wash when the workmen have gone even if it's in the kitchen and go and use a cafe toilet if you need it whilst the workmen are there.

Thank you. That’s true. We have a large supermarket about 3/4 of a mile away with toilets so the toilet side of things probably isn’t an issue

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 23:19

bluecampbell · 02/10/2024 23:15

Just a thought, do you have friendly neighbours where you could go for a shower, maybe every other day?

They do seem lovely but we hardly know them as we’ve not long since moved

OP posts:
Noseybookworm · 02/10/2024 23:35

Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 22:40

We can but it would be expensive. The main issue will be having access to a shower I suppose. Maybe it would be less risky to just go for a shower on an evening but stay at our house whilst the work is being completed.

Show quote history

If you have another loo at home and it's just showering, I would stay home and maybe visit a neighbour/friend for a shower.

Original poster
Flufluflu · 02/10/2024 23:41

Noseybookworm · 02/10/2024 23:35

If you have another loo at home and it's just showering, I would stay home and maybe visit a neighbour/friend for a shower.

Show quote history

We don’t annoyingly but we do have a supermarket so loos 0.75 miles / literally 2 mins drive away. Would probably be ok for the short time we’re at home in the middle of the day

OP posts:
CharlotteBog · 02/10/2024 23:43

I think as long as you have a loo (which as a PP said, they usually make sure they leave you one overnight) then I'd stay home. Shower at a sports centre if possible (maybe go for a swim (or a gentle float!) which is great when you're very pregnant.

I know you've said you don't know many people yet, but most people are kind and would let you use their shower, especially a heavily pregnant woman.

Your immune system is not as strong as non-pregnant women and if you did get it, you may well get more unwell than a non-pregnant woman. If you can avoid that risk (however small) I would.
Also if it was my daughter I'd feel anxious about possibly being the one to pass it on.
It's not just a rotten cold.

Rosesandstars · 02/10/2024 23:51

I would avoid and stay in a hotel. I wouldn't expect to be safer from viruses staying in the house with workmen and using a gym toilet- those seem like quite risky situations from a virus perspective.

On the other hand if your Mum stays with your sister then your partner could go ahead of you to your Mum's house, dettol all the surfaces and open the windows- that would dramatically reduce the risk of catching flu from your parents' house.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 02/10/2024 23:57

You’re not likely better off in a hotel. Germy bastards they are.

Stay with your mum for the days only the toilet is not operational… wash your hands a lot… don’t lick the doorknobs… and cook for the family yourself.

ETfix : germy not gerry 😂

Bloopy2 · 02/10/2024 23:59

I would stay at home. If you have a working sink you can just do an old-fashioned flannel wash and wash your hair in the sink too. I've had to do this for 2 weeks when recovering from surgery and not allowed to shower. It's a pain but less hassle than moving somewhere else!