To wish neighbour would stop letting their child on my drive?

[SillyBear1]

Hi - very lighthearted in the grand scheme of things but annoying to me nonetheless!

We live in a detached house. We have a large front area of grass outside our living room window which is ours and we’ve worked on with edging, decorative stones, small shrubs around the outside etc. It extends down to the street footpath and beyond that is the road.
Next to that on one side is our drive. On the other side is a path that leads to a neighbour’s garden gate and on the other side of that, their bits of a ‘block’ of parking spaces for a very small terrace.

Neighbour has a child about 2 who frequently runs all over our front garden and around our drive. This is usually when she’s putting him into the car as, instead of carrying him from the house to the car (as I do with my similar aged child) she seems to stay finishing up in the house, whilst the front door is open and he runs off.
He usually runs from their door, across our front garden and onto our drive. It usually results in, Benny Hill esque, her running around our drive/cars trying to retrieve him as he runs off more.

We’ve had solar lights broken as one occasion he ran onto our garden and started pulling them out and the decorative stones get scattered most times.
Today, I get a notification that someone is at our door, checked it to see his gran and him are stood right up on our drive, practically at our front door.
He’s wanting to see the Halloween decorations we’ve started putting up (early I know, do it for fun for my own children!) Instead of removing him, to look from the path, as I absolutely don’t mind people doing and everyone is usually very respectful every year, she then lifts him up, nearly bumping him off my car in the process and standing nigh on top of my car, pointing things out to him which went on for ages before they left.

This is happening so many times now - I absolutely appreciate toddlers are fast and opportunistic (!) but I don’t think there’s too young an age to teach not wandering onto people’s property or take measures to stop it happening after the first few times!

If she happens to pull up on an evening and we’re also there getting ours out, she carries him out and into the house then.

Aside from the annoyance to me, I’m also worried he’s going to get hurt from the road or as our drive has a step on it he could easily fall on; the other day, our Ring captured him getting right across our drive, nearly onto next door’s the other way, whilst you can hear her asking where he’s gone. We both have big cars you can’t see past from her house.

Can you/would you say something to her - I don’t want to be a ‘nasty’ neighbour as I know how toddlers are but equally, it’s not somewhere I want children running about on or to feel responsible if he hurts himself?

I didn't mention the police?

CCTV is used to present evidence to police in the event of a crime - CCTV in operation is a threat of this.

If you're not involving the police, what's the point of the CCTV threat?

It wouldn't bother me at all. We have a shared drive, next door have their grandaughter visit and I'm sure she runs all over the drive at times. It's such a temporary and minor thing, she probably won't be doing it next year. I'd mention it if something got broken, but wouldn't be so sad as to be watching on camera or glaring through the window, waiting for something to go wrong.

Something DID get broken.

"We’ve had solar lights broken" -opening post

Can you read?

get a rat poison box and those stickers and put them out around your garden (sans poison).

and plant pyracantha.

What a weird post.

OP seems a normal human so no, she won't do this

Communities need respect, for private land and for boundaries.
Why is it always 'a community' only for the ones taking the p?

Tell the neighbours you have put weedkiller on your lawn and it isn’t safe for him to go on it. Repeat weekly. Or open your front door and encourage him to come in with a big smile. Or put a tray of water out ‘for the dogs’, not deep enough to drown but enough water for him to get wet.

Yes I read that "on one occasion". So then you speak to your neighbours at the time. But clearly it didn't bother the OP suffciently at the time. Moaning about it months later on social media is not going to get you very far with your neighbours.

If she happens to pull up on an evening and we’re also there getting ours out, she carries him out and into the house then.

This tells you that she knows full well what the right thing to do is, as she does it when you're physically there. Yet more lazy parenting by stupid adults. Poor kid. How has she not computed that her child is, one day, going to run into the nearby road??

I would say something to the neighbours, nicely but firmly. A one off is one thing but it's not a one off and you don't want the child having an inevitable accident on your property, both for their sake and yours.

If it's on the drive, the child is potentially going to be running around with cars nearby too, which sounds extremely dangerous.

I think you need to chill out. Getting upset that they were standing on your drive for ages looking at Halloween decorations you'd out there for people to look at is ridiculous....would you have them walk down the drive and stand at the foot of your drive to look at them? What do you think is going to happen to your driveway as a result of all this standing?

They are your neighbours not some random passers by. Also she didn't damage your car so you are catastrophising a bit.

I appreciate that she does sound like a slightly irresponsible parent letting him run off like that and I can see the solar light is annoying. If it was broken (can't remember now) then just go an ask her to replace. How much harm can a toddler do. You sound like you are quite anxious, maybe the ring doorbell isn't helping with that.

For those who seem to think it’s fine/haven’t read other comments, I’m glad you’d be happy to have people walking onto your property. Damage or not, it’s still someone else’s property and I was brought up to respect that and boundaries. I also have said multiple times my main concern is her lack of supervision and that he could get hurt.

I also don’t know how many times I have to say, I love seeing children enjoying them. From the path! 😂
You don’t wander/run/cartwheel insert as appropriate onto someone’s drive to look at these things when you have to do so from a perfectly good path.

I also commented I do have a life and don’t sit at the window/doorbell, hence the doorbell notifications which are usually after the event as I’m normally at work. As for harm, an unsupervised toddler can cause a lot of damage if they want to, not to mention getting ran over. I think some people are also letting their children do this..

Why do I need to get far with my neighbours? I’m not going to be hosting street parties, I’d just like them to respect what’s not theirs, unless she wants to contribute to my mortgage, then she can use it all she wants 😂.

I presume they think you are a friendly neighbour and put up decorations for enjoyment. I don't think it's that unreasonable for a neighbour to let their child look more closely. You could have spoken through the ring door bell ,just politely would make them think. I would be most worried that the child would get hurt if I was driving in or out. I'd talk to them about this and say you are worried for his safety.

Why do people have to be so bloody mean and suggest soaking a 2 year old with sprinklers?

This.

I wouldn't want the liability. They shouldn't be letting her wander.

They sound rude and a bit entitled.

I'd put a fence up too.

She then lifts him up, nearly bumping him off my car in the process and standing nigh on top of my car, pointing things out to him which went on for ages before they left

Why didn’t you just tell her to go away?

I think because OP didn’t see the footage until afterwards.

Op, just talk to them. No p-aggression or tinkly laugh. Say you’re terribly worried you’re going to run over him one day. Because you are. No one will think you’re mean if you’re expressing concern about their child.

@Bilingualspingual Thank you. I’m not wanting to be horrible, I get how hard kids can be but if it’s happening so many times, I’m more worried for his safety (and the not respecting our boundaries). He’s been escorted back to the car again this morning.
I like to be cordial with the neighbours, just not their best friend. I’m happy with saying hello and knowing aside from this, they’re usually quiet and don’t cause other problems so don’t want to rock the boat.

I haven’t yet mentioned they have a visiting dog who I think lives with the grandma. That is also allowed to just run from the car. A few weeks ago we came out to a pile of dog poo on our front grass, right near the window. I loudly exclaimed to DH to come and look and how disgusting it was, whilst their downstairs window was open.

When we got back - it had been cleaned up. Purely coincidence I know - the doorbell didn’t pick it up as it would had someone come from the general direction of the path, and failed me this time 😂.

Sounds like the perfect thing to say.

Why do people have to be so bloody mean and suggest soaking a 2 year old with sprinklers?

2yo would probably love it.

Fence OP. The toddler will soon be an 8 year old with a bike in your garden and a 12 year old with a skateboard, hope you see what I’m getting at! They see your garden as an extension of a communal space.
Start as you mean to go in.

I’d just be really worried he’d run into the road!

Id have a chat with her for that reason alone.

And also put up the fence