AIBU to not go to this funeral

[DoraSpenlow]

Funeral this afternoon for an ex-colleague. I tested positive for Covid on Monday and feel awful.

I got in touch with another ex-colleague to let her know I wouldn't be going and she is really very cross with me. Wants to know whatever did I test for because no-one does these days and I am being disrespectful and should go and show my support apparently because the service will only be 30 minutes tops.

Apart from the fact that I feel crap, the deceased parents and an aunt who all live in a care home will be there and I don't want to risk pass anything on for them to take back to the home and I can't just walk out without giving my condolences.

I'm starting to doubt myself. Should I get up, get dressed and just go?

You're clearly not BU. Just be glad ex-colleague is ex-colleague now

Your colleague is just hitting out because she wants an ally there. You're doing the right thing.

Do send apologies to the next of kin though, donate to the collection or whatever.

I think its more important to see someone when they are alive. I don't know, how close you are etc. But always find it odd, when everyone turns up to be respectful but hasn't seen them since 1985.

Please don't go. If there are vulnerable elderly people in attendance it could be risky for them. I speak from experience...I gave my elderly, vulnerable mum Covid last week and she's been really poorly and ended up in hospital for 2 nights 😢. 2 weeks on, she's still not firing on all cylinders. tested myself every day but I must have had it and still tested positive....by the time I first tested positive I'd already passed it on. You know you're positive so knowledge is power here. If you could ask your deceased colleague what they'd rather you do I'm sure they'd say thank you for wanting to go but please keep my elderly relatives safe and stay home. For some people, it's not "just a cold".

Of course you shouldn’t go. Your colleague is an idiot.

She’d probably be the first to moan if she caught it!

You’re doing the right thing. Funerals are for the living. You are prioritising the health of the living, especially the ones more vulnerable to things like Covid.

You shouldn't go because you don't feel well enough to, not because you have Covid.

Don’t go

Don't go.

Earlier this year there was funeral my relative attended. Someone had Covid (probably didn't know they had it). It infected most of the people who attended and were at the wake.

4 people died following complications of having caught Covid from.the funeral. The guilt the family feel just adds to their grief.

Absolutely not unreasonable in the slightest!

Have you looked to see if there's an online streaming? Quite common these days to allow people to participate remotely.

Dont go..covid is flooding lots of people who are fit and strong atm.
If ypu want the family to receive any condolences pr message, let them know directly as it doesn't sound like your colleague is respectful..either to you or them.

Take care amd stay safe.

Don't go and infect everyone.

Your colleague could have offered to represent you - I've done that before. They often take your name as you go in, and I say, "Emma Bearhug, representing Jane Smith and Joe Bloggs." The family gets the list after, so they'll be listed, and it will show they would have been there if they could. It's quite normal for not everyone to be able to attend, as funerals are often at quite short notice.

You can also send your apologies directly to the family.

I only go to family funerals - and very close family ones at that. I pay my respects in other ways but will not be made to go to a funeral when I don't want to

No DON’T Go.

the ex colleague is massively overstepping and being VVU

How dreadful. I’m so sorry.

My sister missed my dad’s funeral because her ds had covid and she was obviously starting with it too. It had to be that way but of course they were devastated to miss it and we missed them desperately. (This was between lockdowns I think)

It’s your responsibility to do the right thing by not going. What ex colleague says is neither here nor there. She probably just wants someone she knows to go with.

Thank you for all the replies. She was so convincing that I was being unreasonable.

I had already asked someone else to say they were representing me and have donated online to the chosen charity. Very unlikely that it will be live streamed but I will enquire with the undertaker.

Funnily enough I think I picked it up from a funeral I went to last week as I haven't been anywhere else much. Also heard this morning that I will have another one to go to in a couple of weeks. Has been a very sad time.

You wouldn't go to a funeral if you had flu, covid can be worse than flu. Why are people so weird when it comes to covid. Tell her to bog off