Daughter feeling left out

[LondonMum1979A]

Don’t think this really is an AIBU as not planning on doing anything about it just looking for advice really.
So daughter (6) is part of a trio of friends at school and more often than not is the one feeling left out. it happens I know not blaming anyone.
Am fairly good friends with one of the mums and we have held play dates at each others houses numerous occasions.
Other child has been for a play date at our house but only once despite other invitations and never reciprocated. Again not bothered - got enough going on to think about why.
BUT tonight am dealing with a very upset little girl who has asked why child that only has been to our house once has other child round for play dates and not her? Her exact words were ‘why doesn’t her mummy like me?’
Of course I reassured her she did but didn’t know what else to say. Any ideas?

I’d just explain that people have different lives. I had this a bit with my younger DD’s friend and her mum. Her mum had a nanny who picked them up and was available to host, transport - whatever. And who was keen to host play dates as it made her job easier. I had an older child who, at the time, did a hobby pretty seriously three nights a week and involved a lot of driving and logistical juggling. So I wasn’t able or keen to have another child in the mix to juggle, however nice she was. Just reiterate to your DD that it’s unlikely to be personal.

Yep completely get that and understand but hard to explain when she knows other girl has been invited. But have done my best to reassure her. Thank you

Could be loads of things, though. Does the other girl live closer? Do the other girls have older siblings and they’ve done some sort of swap? Is the other girl’s mum just a lot pushier about these things? Maybe the (non) host just isn’t keen on play dates and felt backed into a corner by the other girl’s mother and you’ve just been a lot politer about it. I’d honestly try lot to overthink it too much, unless something happens which makes it really obvious that your DD is being deliberately left out.

Are the other 2 mums friends? Or maybe the little girl is closer to the other girl, so invites her more?

Honestly, there's some truth in "3's a crowd". It might be worth gently trying to get your DD to broaden her friendship group so she can have other playdates with different children.