to expect people to talk to me and not break off in mid conversation to notice/talk to their children ?

[MargaretMountford]

...obviously if the child is about to do something dangerous then of course they must - but in the course of normal conversation it is very irritating to suddenly have someone completely turn their attention to their child for no important reason ...it is rude imo... there's a mum I know who will immediately switch off the moment she spies her child and our conversation ends abruptly. I will ask my ds to wait a second while I finish what I'm saying. It's just good manners really and children maybe should be learning that they aren't necessarily the most important person all the time.

greyriverside I agree with you. I teach my children by example and it pisses me off that some adults think it acceptable to interupt a child or talk to me while my child is talking.

I also use my child as a good excuse to get away from dull conversations.

Absolutely hate it when mums do this. I would understand if the child needs watching but 9 times out of 10 it is just the usual I want attention by asking for a biscuit or something or it's "I'm boreeeeeed" even though my kids are there going "want to play this or that??" and toys are everywhere. The mums always cut off their conversations to attend to the kid no matter how old they are and I just think why come round then? Also hate it on the phone. I hate calling my friend because she will scream at her daughter but not move the phone away from her mouth and she'll have several conversations at the same time with DD and hubby and me AND be watghing the telly!! I always say shall I call back later but then she'll start yapping on about something and continue with the other conversations too!

Well of course yanbu. It's rude and children need to learn manners. If they really need to talk they should wait for a pause in the conversation. But it depends how long you've been standing there. My children will probably stand there patiently for 10 mins or so whilst I talk but any more than that and they get bored and I don't blame them. Considering the number of times I haul them back from the park in the middle of a game of footie or some fascinating conversation with a friend about something. I think it's also quite rude to expect children to hang around for hours while adults chat.

OrmIrian, yes,agree with you too..it's all a question of balance

Hmmm, yes, YmightbeBU, depending on circumstances. My DS has got a stammer and one of the ways the ST says to help ease it is not to make him wait too long for his turn in conversations. So if he is wanting to speak to me and it looks like the person who I'm talking to is on a bit of a roll I do always apologise to them and speak to him first. I know it's irritating for the other person, it is for me too, sometimes, but I have to do the right thing for him before anyone else.

that's perfectly understandable philmassive

I had a friend like you MM - I stress the had.

She'd phone me when the kids were around and then be laughing (I think she thought she was being laughing silently) down the phone when I had to break off for sthg or other.

Now that's rude.

She couldn't phone me later when the kids were in bed, because her partner needed attention then.

being

What, you mean I'm being rude ? I wouldn't do that to anyone on the phone !! I ring people when I know I'm not going to be interrupted by ds or dh and always ask the person if they have time to talk/whether it's convenient and if not ring back another time.

Dd often reminds me of the time she came running out of school all excited to show me the prize she had won that day and I would not stop talking.

I was ages, just kept saying "...in a minute...don't interrupt".

The thing is, the woman I was talking to goes on and on and I was brought up to understand that children shouldn't interrupt adults so I let her blather on at me.

That was wrong. The news dd had to tell me was important.

YABU

It takes seconds to answer a child who needs something rather than keep saying in a minute in a minute and ask them to keep waiting. Obviously children have to learn patience but small childre are too young imo.

I think my view's coloured because of my ex-friend.

No, I see your point, but it does depend on the age and personality of the children. Another friend's son has quite a demanding personality and I don't mind if she deals with him then and there.

We just pick up where we left off.

I think.......hmmm....>>

Yes.

YABU

It's difficult. I tell my chn not to interrupt when I'm talking. Ds2 can cope with that but ds1 is aspergery and can have a melt down if I won't listen to him. Afterwards I always say, I was talking, it was important blah blah ...' and he always says, 'Well how was I expected to know.'
He does it when I'm on the phone as well, screams and rages if I wave him away. Can be cringeworthy, depending on who I'm talking to! Most people make their excuses to end the conversation pretty quickly!

well,as I said before,it's all a matter of balance !

But how does one know what they're interrupting for unless one breaks off the conversation to find out?

YANBU

my DD is just 4

she never stops talking (I know this is normal at 4- her mouth cannot keep pace with her brain!)

However if I am in the middle of a conversation I usually ask her to wait a moment until it comes to a natural pause (even more important if the other person is doing the talking and not me). I am doing this gently ATM but believe it's important to begin teaching patience and waiting one's turn early.

YANBU. Really annoys me too. I mean the whole point of having children is just to meet and natter with other Mums over coffee without interruption

But often, one particular friend will say "don't interrupt, we're talking" followed by, "I'm not answering at the moment. Wait." and then ignore herself and answer him anyway. So, where's the incentive for him to learn patience? If he persists, it pays off.

my ds is two and does not stop talking! If i ask him to wait it does not stop him! I tend to surround myself with friends that either have children or understand that i can never just ignore him. Sorry but my son comes first. I do agree that when he is older i will teach him not to interrupt.

Why is this about who "comes first" in a thread like this (i.e. light-hearted and trivial)? Does that mean if we teach our children not to interrupt that means somehow that we're heartless mothers who don't care about our kids? My DCs are the main priority in my life - of course - but I still expect them not to barge over the top of others talking. Yes, mine are older now (although they'll still have a go when I'm on the phone. DD writes notes and waves them under my nose!) but I started "training" them when they were much younger.

I think it depends on the age of the child

2 is too young to understand IMO but 4 is another matter

(unfortunately) my DD will be going to school soon. If I don't teach her that she is not the centre of the universe, that there is a time to speak and a time to listen, she may get an unpleasant shock.

of course it's also a matter of degree. If I am idly gossiping during a playdate I am more receptive to DD's questions than if talking to a shop assistant or making a phone call.

Yes but if I told my ds's to wait till mummy had finished talking.... they'd be old and grey!!

If my DC's interuppt me talking to anyone, even their dad I will say 'Hang on one moment, you can see I'm talking' and then finish what I was saying and talk to them.
It's pretty simple.
So no YANBU.