Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move school?

10 replies

Soapy23 · 01/10/2024 17:32

Name changed for this and I’m writing in a gender neutral way so that it isn’t as identifying.

My child is year 3 and has been unhappy at school for some time. They seem to go through phases of being OK then other times they are very upset in the mornings. No one big reason why, seems to be smaller things that build up.

They are at a fairly big primary school with around 50 in a year.

I have always been told they are fine when they are there. When I have told them that school say that they say they don’t feel fine.

A good few months ago I went to look around another school, but felt that I wanted to try a bit longer at the current school, to see if a change in teacher would help. I have two teenagers who thrived at the current school, but know every child is different.

Since they went back in September I have been unimpressed with the new teacher, one day my child hadn’t eaten any lunch because they needed the toilet when they got in the hall and didn’t dare leave their lunch unattended. When I brought this to the teachers attention, he didn’t even let me finish my sentence and said with a sigh “yes they get enough time for lunch and yes they are allowed to go to the toilet”. The new teacher also hardly puts anything on the class page compared to the other teachers in lower KS2.

Over the weekend we met my child’s friend and their mum at the park. The friend has touched my child inappropriately and my child disclosed to me later that this has been happening at school too.

I emailed the headteacher and had a meeting yesterday morning. I feel like she said all the right things and has spoken to both children and assures me it will not happen again.

I now feel like this is the last straw for me and my child has refused to go to school this morning. My mum does the school run for me twice a week and today was one of those days. I had to go to work and my child was hysterical. My mum got them there at 10am.

Office staff commented how calm they were going in (how can they go from hysterical to calm? I am wondering if they have just resigned themself to the fact they have to go?) They came out of school this afternoon in a good mood with a prize from the teacher… 🤔

Meanwhile I have been in a state at work all day and phoning around other schools. I am taking them to look around the school I went to look at a few months ago tomorrow. This school is a small village school, infants in one class, juniors in the other. They are happy to go and look round.

I worry if I move them the problem may not be solved, they have lots of friends where they are, and won’t know anyone at the new school.

Am I overreacting in wanting to move? Maybe they just don’t like school in general? They are swaying between saying “I want to move” and “I’ll want to stay because I’ll miss my friends”. I don’t know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 01/10/2024 17:33

Move them,

Another child touching them inappropriately is not ok and it sounds like they have been unhappy at the school for some time.

Button28384738 · 01/10/2024 17:40

Trust your instincts and move them, different schools suit different DC, yours just might not be at a good fit and feel happier in a smaller school. Better to move now than when they're older too

mugboat · 01/10/2024 17:42

I think trust your gut and move your child. I would. Your child will make new friends.

Mnetcurious · 01/10/2024 17:45

Sounds like you have good reasons to move them and not really any plus points for staying put, so I’d trust your gut and make the move.

Soapy23 · 01/10/2024 17:48

I feel like you are all right but worried they will resist out of fear. Hopefully once we have visited things will become clearer 🤞

OP posts:
MyMonkeyDanced · 01/10/2024 18:02

Move them. I moved my two children this year because they asked me although at the time I thought it was crazy! There was nothing specifically bad at their previous school, and like you I kept thinking that they would settle. But even though I was happy with the school, my children weren’t. Since I moved them they have both been coming home with smiles on their faces and are motivated to do homework. the change in them both is remarkable.

Didimum · 01/10/2024 18:03

Have you spoken to your child about moving school? What do they say?

Bex5490 · 01/10/2024 20:07

As a first step I think getting to the bottom of what your child actually doesn’t like about school is important here. You could:

  • ask them to list 5 things they love and 5 things they hate about their school.
  • Get them to draw their ideal school and then ask them what’s different to their current school.
  • Make up a story with a character who hates school and see what reasons they give for this character.

This way you will see whether they hate things that are exclusive to this school or things that they might encounter at any school.

Soapy23 · 02/10/2024 21:54

We went to look around the new school today at 10am, he stayed until 3 o’clock! Like a different child… starts properly tomorrow 🤯

OP posts:
Button28384738 · 02/10/2024 22:02

Soapy23 · 02/10/2024 21:54

We went to look around the new school today at 10am, he stayed until 3 o’clock! Like a different child… starts properly tomorrow 🤯

Ah that's great, hope they settle in at the new school!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread