I hate food

[LottieMary]

Two children under 4. They seem to need to eat early around 5 and my husband likes to eat later around 7-8 so I’m basically doing tea time for about 3 hours a day which is torturous.
I hate food so much. I dislike planning for it, shopping for it, cooking it. I don’t particularly want to eat it - i find myself eating just because ‘it’s mealtime’ and hate the amount of weight I carry (16 stone/5’10) . If I say I’m not hungry it seems to trigger something in husband who’s then ‘really worried’ about me.
im not a great eater; picky, don’t like a lot of variety. I’d happily have pizza or cheese pasta every day but am very concerned about my children picking up habits that make them unwell in some way.

But if you eat at 5 aren’t you snacking all evening? I know if I ate at 5 I’d be starving by bed time!

Most adults I know eat at 5/6pm in this country, are you not in the UK? I don’t know anyone that eats at 8.

No I never eat after dinner. I will have a cup of tea around 7.30pm but that’s it. I go to sleep early, up at 5.30 or before most days, so eat breakfast early. That’s my schedule and works well for me. If i didn’t eat early i’d want to snack mid afternoon, as i’d be very hungry waiting until 7-8pm. Do late eaters have an afternoon snack? I have to watch snacks as i’m only 5ft 1, so gain weight easily.

Im in the UK and pre kids we ate at 8-9. It’s still my ideal eating time but now we have children we like to eat as a family so eat at about 6.30pm. I don’t judge anyone else for what time they eat though, whatever works for them. I just know I’d be hungry by bed time if I ate at 5! Plus I’m not home from work by then anyway.
Actually I think that might play a large part in it. My ex boyfriend’s parents had dinner on the table at 5, but his mum didn’t work and his dad was a tradesman who finished at 4 and worked locally so was home at 5 for tea. My parents both worked full time in more professional careers and my dad commuted a fair distance so no one was home before 6, then obviously someone had to cook.

I don’t have an afternoon snack because I don’t eat lunch until 2ish. It’s just different schedules I guess. By the time we’re all home from work and someone has cooked, 6.30pm is the absolute earliest we can eat. Pre kids id often meet friends for a drink after work, or go straight to the gym or an exercise class, which mean I didn’t eat dinner until 8-9pm ish.

@CuttySarcasm Ha! Not in London. Many people don't even leave the office until 6pm - I am still having work meetings at 5/6pm and usually don't get home until 7.30pm. Mr Monkey works in retail and his shifts don't end until 8pm some nights.

Urs different schedules, I guess also when you like your free time. DH will lounge about after finishing work at 5:30/6 or do some gardening or DIY project, then cook to eat around 7:30/8. I prefer to cook straight after work and be done and dusted by 6:30/7pm to then do something with my evening.

That’s the complete opposite to me, I don’t know any adults in this country that eat at 5/6pm - most are still at work! My parents and in-laws are retired and they don’t eat that early. Everyone I know eat around 8pm. We tend to eat at 9pm.

Yeah just different schedules. I used to eat a little later when the kids were at the after school club. Now they are older they do their own cooking, so I tend to finish work around 5 and then eat. If i’m working at home I tend to cook my dinner at lunchtime so its ready, or i will cook a big bowl of pasta and eat that for a few days. So i can eat soon after i finish work. I eat lunch at midday, as i eat breakfast at 5.30. I grew up eating around 5, so its a normal time to eat an evening meal to me. I couldn’t eat late as i go to bed early as I am up early. Guess we all eat to our own schedules.

I hear you. “What’s for dinner?” Has become my most hated and dreaded question. I’m so fed up with thinking, planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning up. Aaaaaagh!

my partner usually says “thanks for dinner, it was delicious!” Last night they all had chicken burgers because I am feeling ill and I didn’t want or eat anything. He said “thanks for dinner, it was………..dinner.”

furious. I wish that I could get him to take on some of the burden but he works long hours and I currently don’t, so it’s my job.

Have you thought about getting a big family sized slow cooker? You can literally just chuck all your meat veg and a sauce in there in the morning, then at 5 kids can have theirs, you can switch it to the keep warm setting, then later on you and dh can have yours?

Get a slow cooker, stick everything in in the morning, there are some really good slow cooker cook books on kindle if you need inspiration - you can literally make everything. Then you are all eating the same thing, no 'cooking' involved, can feed everyone as and when.

You haven't said why your DH wants to eat so late - if it's because he's working, you eat with the dc and he has his warmed up. We did that for years when my DH was working late.

Otherwise maybe compromise and eat at 6. There's no good reason for you to be spending hours in the kitchen each evening, and there's nothing more likely to put you off food.

Loads of people work from home these days though! I work full time but eat around 6pm on WFH days, I start cooking usually when I finish work at 5.

Do the people who eat at 5/6pm have a non-working parent, or very part time at least? I don't understand how it can be done if you're both working until that time.

We also have horses so 5-7 is the time we look after them and ride etc. So little chance of eating before 8 here.

All of which i realise wasn't the point of the OP. To that I'd suggest cooking one meal and heating later for adults.

I view that sort of time as toddler tea time, not adult tea time and Im still at work in any case!

OP you just need to (if you are the one doing cooking) cook up a tray bake a day or one dish dinner a day and then the kids eat at what time is suitable for them and you and OH eat later (if you are hungry)

If you are carrying a lot of excess weight then clearly you're eating enough but perhaps not the right things as you say, snacky things rather than real meals which wont be helping your energy levels or motivation

We eat at 5.30pm. We’re all hungry then. Dh finishes work at 5pm and walks home, he gets in about 5.10pm (only works 5 mins or so up the road) and it works for us. I wouldn’t be doing two lots of dinner, if your dh really can’t eat with the kids then he can either heat up whatever it was later or help himself to something.

I did a meal for us at 8.00, and then heated up the leftovers for the DC for their tea at 5.00 the next day.

This doesn’t work with some things (stir fry) but for spag bol, or mild curry, or cottage pie, or baked potatoes etc it’s fine and it feels like a lot less cooking.

I remember this stage well. It seemed as though I was constantly cooking and I hated it. Now the kids are older we all eat together from Friday to Monday. When we are in the office mid week and not home til 6:30, the kids are fed at after school childcare and we eat at 8:30ish.

No, full time here, I just work from home the majority of the week so all I need to do is turn off the laptop at 5 and can start getting dinner ready.

I wfh too, but I’d never eat that early! Same as I said with my retired family, they eat 8pm earliest!!

I go to the office most days but DH works from home. He logs off about 6 and starts cooking, so we can eat at 6.30pm when I get in.

Just depends on preference really. I like to be winding down by 8pm, not cooking and washing up! I'm in bed by 9pm to read/scroll my phone and go to sleep around 10.

I used to cook a nice meal for me and DH, but one suited to leftovers. Then I would reheat the leftovers the next day for the toddlers at 5pm. Worked really well as it meant I wasn’t cooking with them under feet and could quickly get it on the table for them.

OP, when my DC were little and starving and needed to eat at that time to get to bed for 7-7.30, we basically ate on a rota.

E.g. make a big bolognese on Monday. Kids eat it at 5 pm, adults eat it later.

Same idea on Tuesday, different meal (e.g. curry).

Wednesday - easy pizza for kids, adults have leftovers from Monday (bolognese).

Thursday - kid meal early and parents eat leftovers from Tuesday.

Friday - cook once, eat different times (or together if you stretch bedtime ).

Sat/Sun eat together, slightly later. Cheese and crackers for adults after kids in bed.

Mine were in nursery and then after-school club a couple of days and had a sort of meal there so only really needed a sandwich in the evening.

My XH was a good cook, but basically left it to me unless it was a weekend. But if your DH would pick a couple of days then it becomes much easier.

One of my DC is now vegetarian and I keep a list of veggie meals everyone likes and meals that can be slightly tweaked to add meat at the end. Then I can pick one when I can't think of anything in the moment.

My DC are teens now, but they still come home from school ravenous and need a substantial snack to wait until 6.30 pm to eat dinner.