AIBU to overtake a hearse?

[confusedabouthormones]

So today on the way home from school I had just pulled onto a dual carriageway and there was a hearse with some cars behind it. They were going to a near by crematorium. I pulled into the outside lane and drove past it.

My mother was in the car and she had a right go at me for being disrespectful and how she was embarrassed to be in my car. When I looked in my mirror no one else had passed the hearse.

Is this a thing? In my 30 odd years driving I've never heard this.

Was I being unreasonable to pass the hearse?

I was the last car at my dad's funeral. No problem being overtaken on the dual carriageway, but I was a bit upset when a car beeped at me at a roundabout when I was following on the procession.

Dual carriageway, you were fine. At that point they are just "on their way" and we're probably themselves travelling at sighter greater speed.

When they are on a single carriageway, it's respectful to stay behind and drive at their pace.

I went to a Jewish funeral. They said that we walked slowly to demonstrate that we're not hurrying to rush the deceased out of the way. Perhaps same logic for driving a hearse slowly

I think on a dual carriageway it's fine.

Reminds me of when we were going to my mothers funeral, we were following in the car behind the hearse. On a B road with tractor in front and the hearse pulled out and over took (quite suddenly and fast), which meant our driver put his foot down and over took to follow. It seemed a bit wrong but we all thought it was funny, my DM would have found it hilarious!

Well yes if it was a slow mile and they were turning off in their lane. Of course you can pass.

On a duel carriageway it's probably ok but not if it's horses.
I wouldn't try to pass horses.

I got stuck behind a hearse on the way to my wedding. We just sat and waited, no stress. It was quite sobering actually and is weirdly one of my strongest memories of the day, sitting in the back of the car with my Dad.

When hearses go on motorways do they travel at normal speed? it seems a bit dangerous to crawl at slow speed on a motorway

Surely it's fine on a dual carriage way. Otherwise you could be preventing the flow of traffic causing tail backs

Not fine on a single road

It also used to be much clearer who was part of the funeral procession with the funereal-type cars booked as many as needed. Now people are using their own cars, probably due to cost, but who on earth would know that they were part of the cortege?

Some funeral places used to loan out flags to go on cars; now that is helpful.

We had to travel quite a distance in the hearse for a parent, I wouldn't have expected nor thought it fair at all to expect all traffic to have waited on the dual carriageway. Some crematoriums are near one, people living nearby wouldn't be able to wait every day for every hearae surely!?! On the local roads it is respectful, and it was lovely how many people stood still for the car, we appreciated that.

Yes, I’ve seen a couple this week too, always annoying.

If all of the nutty mumsnetters on this thread who would join someone's funeral procession - how would the rest of us know it was one anyway? The hearse would be miles ahead. You'd just get people speeding along the clear lane and it would be worse when they suddenly realized there was a hearse ahead. Better that people pass slow and wide.
Agree about not overtaking on a single road.

On a dual carriageway it's fine.

Honestly if you were overtaking random traffic in the other lane, how would you know there was a hearse at the front anyway rather than a tractor or someone being towed or whatever?

On a dual carriageway it is fine. I would always slow down a bit if I could and pull slightly across to the right hand side so you are a little further away from the car. But where I live we don't have a crematorium within 20 miles so it isn't reasonable to expect traffic to crawl along our bypass every time. We have an average of one person a day going from our region to the main local crematorium.

Insane for anyone to crawl behind a hearse on a dual carriageway, and potentially dangerous. I'm sure the family of the deceased don't want to be part of causing an accident. Also frankly I'm sure they have more important things to think about than whether strangers do or don't pass them.

A dear friend of mine was taken to the funeral on the back of a pony cart, he wanted it that way.

That's a really good point! I'd be that one whizzing past in the nice clear lane while everyone else 'showed respect' to a random stranger.

In my culture you wouldn't see someone overtake - as it is racing someone to their grave, very bad luck indeed - for you and anyone else in your car

I've been in a funeral procession before where the procession was split up by someone not being considerate- that was rude. But all of the people in the outside lane going about their business were fine.

And if it was a mistake?

Things happen. If all that matters to you is whether a stranger is "respectful" then 🤷🏼‍♀️

I like the old school approach of acknowledging someone else's funeral procession and adjusting your manners around it.
It gives a community feel, like, one of our number has fallen.
When I was a kid if a hearse went by most people on the pavement would stop turn to face the hearse with lowered head and take their hat off... Don't see that very often now.
It was good, felt like there was an awareness of other people and that we all touch each others lives.

But that has to be balanced with some pragmatism in cases where it would gridlock the motorway if we all crawled for 5 miles... So respectful, balanced with what's practically sensible would be a fair choice I think

.

We told the guy to put the foot down on the motorway on the way to my grans funeral as people actually were sitting behind 😀

I pass them, got places to be.