To think that you need to overshare at work for your manager to like you?

[RealAquaLeader]

It seems like to get on your manager’s good side or to have a better relationship with them, you have to open up about your personal life and share more than you usually would. Does anyone else feel pressured to overshare at work just to build rapport with their manager, or am I imagining this?

I manage a team of 16. Some of them I know great details of their lives because they tell me things and some are closed books. Both are fine, doesn’t make me like any of them more of less. I will say it does help me keep an eye on some of them from a wellbeing point of view. For example one person has a family member going through cancer treatment at the moment, so I know if she’s a bit off one day that’s the reason why. Then another time one of the guys kept making errors and it wasn’t until the point he was about to go on development plan that he admitted his girlfriend of 10 years had left him and he was struggling. I’m naturally quite a private person, so I would never try and get people to open up if they didn’t want to. The worst team I’ve ever worked on was when I had a manager who boasted “we’re one big family here” it was the most bitchiest and toxic team I’ve ever been on.