To regret not having a baby shower?

[Applebears]

I’m nearly 34 weeks now so it’s too late to organise one. I always said I wouldn’t bother as I thought they were grabby and OTT. I’m now seeing everyone else’s photos in my due date group and thinking I wish I had one. You only have your first baby once! I’m the first of my same age friends to have a baby and I’m not sure how well attended any party I’d put on would have been anyway, as some of them live quite far away.

(Please no comments about celebrate after the baby’s here - this is my rainbow baby so don’t need any new worries popping into my head at this stage!)

Has anyone got any ideas as to what I could do instead?

Why is it too late to organise one?

Have one now?

If you want one, have one.

People have busy schedules and the date would need to be at least two weeks in advance, if not further.

You can also do a "baby welcome" usually 2 or 3 months after baby is born. That's also a thing, similar to baby shower but only that baby will be present.

But you’re only 34 weeks? That’s loads of time to organise one if you want to. Just keep it low key and don’t ask people to spend £££ on an overpriced afternoon tea or spa day and with a few weeks notice you should hopefully get a decent turn out.

Of course it's not too late to have one!! Invite local friends first, see who is available on what date OR ask some you would really like to be there & see which dates they can do and work it around that. Explain you've just changed your mind & would really like one... I wouldn't travel far for for a general baby shower, but I would travel to celebrate with a good friend.

It’s not really the done thing to organise your own. It’s supposed to be organised by your friends or family.

But if you want to do something do it. No matter when you hold something some people won’t be able to make it. So just pick a date and invite people for tea and cake.

it doesn’t have to be a huge event.

My DS is 23 and I had one as we were living overseas and it was the done thing. But it was just tea and cakes at a friend’s apartment. Some prosecco. A few small gifts. Nothing big or flashy.

You’ve got 6 weeks!

Instead of a 'baby shower' - I'd word it as a 'pre-baby cake party' and let everyone know not to buy gifts - partly to make it easier for them to attend at short notice.

Order a nice little instagram worthy cake, some other bits and just hang out together. 🙂

so 2 weeks puts you at nearly 36?

whats the problem?

do you have a close female relative you can speak to?

just say that you’d love a get to gather / baby shower and could they invite the following people to tea and cake at your house (yours not the relative) for 2 weekends time.

leave it with them to sort and just ask they let you k ow how much cake to buy. Job done.

Well you were right: baby showers are grabby and imo completely ridiculous. Invite your friends over for a cuppa and laughs instead.

I agree with your original sentiments. They're grabby and tacky.

Just invite friends over for some tea and cake, don’t call it a baby shower as that conjures the image of being showered in gifts. Failing that have a get together when the baby arrives with cake and champagne!

I didn’t have one, my friends offered, but having had many miscarriages, I didn’t want to jinx anything with premature celebrations. I don’t regret it at all, I don’t like baby showers personally, but would be happy to meet a few friends for some cake and a chat.

I definitely agree. This is the best idea.

If you’re feeling like that, why not plan one for 36 weeks and a lot of people will be able to come. It’s not an all day thing like a wedding?

Or could you have a spa day with close family and friends? Or a similar day out, something like pottery painting (which I did recently and loved) or something nice near you? Or maybe just to yours for snacks and cakes etc if you want something low key.

Stop being grabby and seeking attention

Ask a close friend/family member to invite everyone round to yours for a ‘pre baby get together’ you could have potentially another 8 weeks! It doesn’t need to cost much so if it gets cancelled as you’ve had the baby you/they won’t have shelled out any money unnecessarily

I didn’t plan to have a baby shower as I find them grabby and also I’m superstitious. But my sister planned a get together at my house for family and my 3 closest friends. They literally turned up at my door at 37 weeks (I thought I was going for lunch with 1 of my friends so luckily I was dressed/hair + makeup sort of done!!)

We had a small buffet, cupcakes, cans of pop and I got some lovely gifts which most people had picked up last minute (it’s easy to get gifts from Amazon / Supermarket)

Really should be organised by someone else, not yourself. But if you do organise a gathering don't expect others to contribute!

But why do you actually want a baby shower??
You will receive gifts and visits from your far away friends individually. No need for this American concept.

I’d send a message to a few friends saying - “NOT a baby shower(!) but before I’m up to my ears in poo and leaky boobs, let’s have a catch-up. Are you free for tea, Prosecco and cake on Saturday at 3? It would be lovely to see you x”

Is there a point to baby showers other than receiving gifts? I've only ever been to one, but told my friend that I would be giving the gift once baby arrived. I've never had one, as I don't really understand the reason behind having them. Surely everyone celebrates once the baby is here?

You could go all out on the first birthday?

You’re only 34 weeks, easy enough to organise one in 2-3 weeks. Even 4-5