Depressed or normal feelings in this stage of motherhood?

[Shmuspl]

I am a single parent to dd 2 years 2 months. I generally get a day at the weekend to myself and then work in the week while she’s in nursery. It’s generally been ok.

But the last two weeks I’ve felt so shit. It’s currently pouring with rain. Cold. Dark. Dd is so demanding of all my time. Thankfully I don’t have severe money worries but I do have to be careful with heating etc and that just makes things a bit bleak.

The nursery run is a 50 minute round trip which takes its toll in winter. in a year she can move somewhere closer.

It all feels like such a slog and I feel very trapped. I do see friends but we all have various commitments now so it’s not as it once was on that front either. Late 30s so feeling pretty old even though I know I’m not!

Is feeling like this normal in toddler years?

It does sound fairly normal and after only two weeks, I'd be reluctant to label it as 'depression'. But has anything changed in the last couple of weeks to make you feel this way?

The toddler years can be relentless and they do demand most of your time
It does get better as they get more independent.

Having a two year old can be very challenging. They are understanding more of the world but are pushing the boundaries to get what they want but not mature enough to understand that others have needs and the world doesn't revolve around them. It's many years ago since I had a two year old, but I can still remember it as one of the most tiring times of being a Mum. Now is time for consistency and not giving in to their temper tantrums. Be kind but firm, modelling the behaviour you want to see. Hang in there, it will get easier again.

I think that the time of year probably has some impact on it too, as the dark, cold and rainy days make their return.

If you still feel low in a couple of days and you find yourself not enjoying things that you used to, talk to your GP. They are best placed to decide if it's depression and it's better to get help whilst you are able to. When you are very depressed, it can be almost impossible to ask for it because you don't have the strength to.

If you have any network of family or friends they are invaluable, even if it's just to call you and ask how you are getting on. If you can have a couple of child free hours to do something that you like or just to catch up on sleep, it can make the world of difference to your mood.

You aren't alone in feeling like this. Bringing up a child is hard work and it's especially tough when you don't have an other person to back you up. They don't call it the terrible twos for nothing! 😂😂

Having very small children in the winter months can be a right downer. It helps so much to get outside in the sunshine. Everything can feel more difficult in the cold – the extra clothes, the wellies, the coats, mud in the hall, gloves in puddles. Not to mention getting up in the pitch black and cold if they are early risers. Lump this together with 2yr old demands and tantrums, and it can be easy to spend all yours days wistfully thinking about running away and jumping on a plane to Australia.

It will get easier, love x