To not want to fight over an imaginary shed.

[Grealish]

I’ve been thinking recently about the idea of getting a liveable shed/annex in the garden. My thought process behind it is - it’ll be nice when DDs are teenagers and they’ll have somewhere to hang out with their friends while still being able to supervise them. Then when they’re in their 20s if they have to move back in after university they’ll have somewhere to live while still being some what independent. Then after that, DS has additional needs & we don’t know yet what his quality of life will be like when he’s older. I think it would be nice that if he was in a position to have a bit of independence that he’d be able to move out into the garden. I also just think it’d be nice for when grandparents come to visit etc.

All of these situations are years away so I think bringing it up now means that we will have time to save up for it.

DH kept dismissing it whenever I brought it up and then last night when he saw me seriously researching it he called it a stupid idea and a waste of money and he didn’t want it in our garden. I explained all the reasons and he said I was creating expensive solutions to problems that don’t even exist yet.

This has escalated into a big fight between us - I think this is a nice, and potentially really useful, thing for a family. He thinks it’s a complete waste of money and that I am being silly with our finances.

sorry actually I’ve realised I just want a rant, I don’t think there’s any actual answers people can give to this hahaha

Shouldn’t be a big issue to look into the possibility. I don’t understand why he felt it needed to be a big drama. If you want
to spend your spare time researching (or daydreaming) then go for it.

I had a similar fight with DH. We have a stone outbuilding that would be perfect for conversion, a builder who would do it and plenty of spare funds. But he refused to consider it despite myself and the children having many uses for it. I spend hardly anything and he spends a fortune on various hobbies.

It's made me consider a lot of things differently.

No answer but I think your idea is lovely!!

Great idea. I know several people who have them and they find them incredibly useful - so long as it doesn't end up as a storage place for junk, that is 😁

How big is your garden? I would have the same adverse reaction as your DH tbh as I can’t imagine wanting to go and hang out in a room off the garden when there’s a nice house there instead. Plus it isn’t really at all supervised for teens. Dunno really. I would be open to discussing of course, but it always seems like something that sounds better than it is in reality!

I have a friend who had a chalet with a very small ensuite built in his garden for visitors - he has a tiny little house. It would certainly be useful as a quiet spot for teenagers studying for exams, or as a sun room if it had a big window.

It sounds like what you are talking about is more of an annex than a shed.

I know someone who bought a house with something like this after her divorce. One of her DC did indeed live there for a while after graduating.

Now that all of her DC have left home she let's it out on Airbnb.

I suggest you look into it a bit further and get some quotes. If you can't convince your DH it is a good idea now then keep the plan in your back pocket. If nothing else it might be a satisfying I told you so a few years down the line.

You could buy a Shepherd's Hut and just roll it into the garden - job done!

Is this perhaps more about controlling money than the idea of the annex itself?

Seems reasonable to research it. Not sure why it had to be such a fuss. Is it okay for your DH to have money spending ideas but not you? A control thing?

But I thought in some places planning restrictions mean you can only use it as an office /living room /studio but you can't use it as an actual sleeping place?