'You too' as a response to 'I love you'

[Rizzo8]

My partner of a year was the first to say I love you in the relationship.

He says it very so often but not much. Mostly shows it through actions.

Today as I kissed him goodbye I said 'I love you' and he said 'you too'. It felt so unsatisfying and almost sad!?

Why can't he just say it properly the rare times we say it? Am I over reacting?

I think you’ve got a few typos so don’t fully understand your post but wondering have you talked about this? Asked him why he doesn’t say it that often and let him know you’re feeling insecure? It sounds like ‘a thing’ for you (understandably) so it may be that the whole issue feels a bit pressured. But equally if you love him and aren’t sure of his feelings then that feels shit and you’d like to be clear where you stand.

They said it first, you say they show it through actions. It sounds fine to me. I say you too, we both do sometimes - it's just language. I'd say the gestures mean more.

I think the issue is he demonstrates feelings through actions

And I'm very wordy

So I don't hear it for ages then when I do it feels half assed. Not a deal breaker, just a bit like if you're going to say it why not say it properly?

As a one off I think you're overreacting.
As you said, he was the first to say "ily" at all.
It's only a year in.

Maybe he was distracted because he's dreaming of the expensive diamond ring for his proposal to you.... Give him a chance

I’m the same as you OP. I much prefer to hear the words. You too/me too feels like there is less meaning. They are important words to convey a strong feeling that is reserved for those closest to you. We are all different and I suspect we will have the majority of people telling you you are overthinking it. So I just wanted to say you aren’t alone. My partner of 5 years was the first to say it, he’s wordy but has pulled back of late and is referring to ‘you too’ as a substitute.

How often do you say it his way, in actions?

Could he write this post too, but reversed? 'She says the words all the time, but rarely shows her love in tangible acts. Words are cheap, it feels so half assed.'

Either you each learn to communicate in ways the other understands ... or you decide you're just not very compatible after all.

actions do speak louder than words! If you have a lover who shows you he loves you, hearing the words is icing on the cake!
Given he was the first to say it out loud, I think you’re safe, and you say you’re the “wordy” orientated one so you’ve had your proof.
The question is, given you know he values actions to demonstrate feelings, are you meeting him in that space too?

It's fine. I say it to my husband. When I say it to my little boy he says "I do too" bless him

Prehaps he was overwhelmed by your feelings and couldn't get the words 'I love..' out as he gasped under the enormity of the occasion?

Or he was at a particulary difficult point in making his Crafting Table in Minecraft?

Actions can mean a lot more than words. It's very easy to say I love you and then be a complete shit the rest of the time. I think you need to reframe the way you see it.

I think as you are running out the door is the sort of time You too makes sense. It's not slow, meaningful discussion with declarations of love; that's for over dinner and the like.

I think it's fine. "Me too" is a bit weird as it's essentially saying you love yourself as much as your partner does. But "you too" is short for "I love you too" and so is fine.

Agree with everyone else though, actions count far more than the choice of words to express a feeling he clearly does feel.

I truly think actions speak louder than words . My partner used to get upset that I never said I love you though I showed him in lots of ways every day . It’s a phrase I have always found difficult to say to anyone.