to burst my sisters bubble??

[macdoodle]

Feel a bit bad TBH - my little sis (10 years younger we are very close talk every day best friends really) - got back from paris and ski trip in France - engaged
But says she and new fiancee have thought they would like to get married in the ski resort in France ok thinks I makes supportive noises thinking just excited etc
But they seem serious - have asked the resort to hold 3 chalets have list of 40 people they want to invite have looked into how flowers etc etc ...
But they would expect people to pay for accom/food £450/person for a week (chalets can only be booked a week)...PLUS flights PLUS extras like skiing if you want (it is a ski resort there is nothing else to do there)...
So personally not impressed - I have 2 DD who will be 7 and 1 at time of planned nuptials will be bridesmaids....so I am not fan skiing and baby will only be 1 but DD1 will want to so will have ski hire/lessons etc...gonna cost me a fortune PLUS outfits/presents/and said I would pay for the cake ....
Also pointed out to her some of her friends are not high earnes have small kids - perhaps they won't fancy a weeks ski holiday as there only expensive holiday - my mum is skint so she(or me) would have to pay for her......
Just sounds like a bloody stupid over excited ill thought out idea to me ....and as we are close and honest I point the above out to her and she sounds sooooo deflated and says will discuss with fiancee
So now I think I should have just been supportive and left it up to them but she said they needed to confirm the chalets within 2 weeks and was worried they would and then discover all the implications !! So AIBU should I just have shut up????

YANBU.

I would never feel obliged to go to a wedding abroad for anyone other than very close family and like you if I had been in this situation I would ahve told her.

People should realise that they can't necessarily have it all - fine if you want to get married abroad then go for it and have a fantastic time. Just don't expect everyone you have ever met to want to fork out hundreds of pounds and take a week off work - if you do and get upset when they can't then that is incredibly selfish.

Just to add that I have been abroad for weddings when it can be fitted around a holiday - went to South Africa a few years ago and stayed for a couple of weeks - so I am not totally into putting a dampner on people's weddings! I would always go if it was feasible but I would not take a week of work to go somewhere I didn't want to go to!

You did the right nthing. If she had 2 weeks to book the chalets she could potentially have been left with a lot of spaces as it is unlikely she would get 40 people to go at that cost and to something as exclusive to one thing as a ski resort.

I can see her excitement in wanting to go to the place she got engaged but she could go on her honeymoon.

It would have been worse for her to have to presumably pay deposits on the chalets and find out a later date that most of her guests just couldn't come.

YANBU - the legal requirement shoud kill it ... They'll probably come back with a 2 week in Barbados plan now

now 2 weeks in barabdos I could do - I am def a lazy sunworshipper type hols - none of this cold skiing stuff for me

I'm with you.. Ski ing involves exercise

Hmm.. its not your wedding, and I am sure there will be plenty of people who are willing to pay to go.

So no bubble to burst really, you'll just have to tell her that you will be struggling to come but of course you will as she is your sister, and then she will have a better realisation that other people may not be able to come for the same reasons.

Its her wedding, she can do as she likes. Its not an 'event' for you et el, its her wedding.

I'd just shut up and enjoy the holiday

It's her wedding and so yes she can do as she likes. And agree with dirtysexymummy in that as she's your sister you probably will need to go.

However totally disagree with the idea that people can do as they like and expect everyone to want to celebrate with them to the tune of £450 and a week away!!! It's incredibly selfish to expect people to want to do this for you. So I think the OP was totally right to tell her sister as although she will probably have to go if this is what her sister chooses there will be loads of people who wouldn't. And even if they pay for people then they will still get a lot who wouldn't come - to be honest the week less of annual leave would put me off more than the money!!! Although actually I love skiing but that's another matter...

But maybe they dont 'expect' everyone to celebrate with them? Maybe they want to do this, and would love if everyone could come but know that not everyone will be able to, and they are fine with that?

A couple I am friends with got married abroad because they didn't want 'everyone' to come! Brilliant excuse, and in the end, there were 16 people who went. It was fantastic.

YANBU Unfortunately you have no choice except to burst her bubble. You can't expect to put that sort of expense on family and friends. I actually love skiing and would put it way above a summer holiday. In theory (for skiers) it is a lovely idea-in practice they should go on honeymoon on their own.

Doesn't the fact that they have provisionally booked out 3 chalets kind of suggest that they are expecting people will come?