My ex and I have two kids. We separated 5 years ago, and at present have only one major beef, that of the Apple ID our kids use. When we separated, he kicked me out of the Apple Family, so I no longer had any say over the children’s ID. He was the ‘family organiser’ so I had no say on this. He did eventually agree to let me take the children’s IDs over, however when we tried to do this it didn’t work. I ended up setting up separate IDs for them to use at my house, where they spend most of their time. He works for Apple and they got free Apple watches as part of some trial that was not discussed with me. These are under his apple family ID. When our eldest started secondary school he bought her the iPad she needed, and put it under the ID she has at his house. Again with no discussion. This means I can’t do screen time or app control. He didn’t want her to get a phone because she had the watch, but she really wanted one, as she was starting secondary it seemed appropriate. I found a decent second hand phone for her to use, which she put under my ID. Her dad has now given her a new phone, which is under the ID at his house, so now everything is under his control. This is not acceptable to me, but he just says this is her choice and nothing to do with him. He is happy to buy them apps, Roblox money etc and earns a good deal more than I do. The only thing I feel I can do is confiscate the phone, which at least she doesn’t need for school.
I have tried talking to him, he says it is nothing to do with him, just her choice, and that I am being unreasonable. Am I being unreasonable? What can I do?
I should add I'm writing this because she stormed out and walked over to his house over it this morning, and hasn't come back. He is saying I'm being unreasonable, and it is all my fault. He won't bring her back, and I don't know what to do..