I’m so fucked up at the moment. Warning about this thread, there will be a lot of swearing but I’m not apologising for that. Sick and tired of apologising. If you don’t like swearing I totally appreciate it, but please just don’t read this thread.
I was brought up in a house with three brothers, only me as a girl. Both my parents made it very clear that they thought cooking and household chores were a woman’s responsibility. I swore I would not live like that as an adult. Guess what? Fucking doing it all over again.
I thought both me and my husband were fairly open minded and had similar thoughts around a couple being a partnership. I’m pretty sure he still thinks that because he cleans the toilet and hoovers ONCE a fucking week. Does he ever do the shopping, or thinks about meal ideas? Does he know what clothing / shoes our son needs? Does he reminds our son to do his homework? Does he tidy up? Does he make sure our son activities are paid for? OF COURSE NOT!!! And the list goes on.
This is not a husband problem by the way. I’m complaining about society and expectations on women. I talk to friends and I know this situation is fairly common. Some people may think everything’s fine now because some men do a bit of cleaning, a bit of cooking, and a bit of ‘childcare’. FUCK THAT. We still have a long way to go !
You may wonder why I’m so pissed off today. Well, the following conversation took place in our household this morning:
Me: we should probably go shopping today, our son needs some trainers.
Husband: good idea. Oh and while you’re out with our son, I’ll stay home and do my hobby.
Me: oh aren’t you coming?
Husband: no, I don’t fancy shopping:
Me (pissed off): oh, and do you think I fancy going shopping???
I know - in the grand scheme of things- that this is something very minor, but I just saw red.
I’ve been having similar issues at work too. I work full time in a fairly senior position in HE. Yet again, I’m not treated the same as my male colleagues. Of course I get paid the same, but who gets listened to more in meeting? Men. Who’s given more opportunities to progress? Men. Who gets allocated the admin tasks? Women.
And don’t get me started with expectations on appearance. The other day a male friend looked at my dark hair, saw one white hair, and said ‘when are going lighter?’. WHEN ARE YOU FUCKING GETTING A HAIR IMPLANT! I should have said. Instead, I just told him I’m not planning to, and he looked at me weirdly.
To be very clear, I don’t have a problem at all with women who like to cook, or be a SAHM, or work in admin, or dye their hair. It is just about choice, and been treated equally.
I’m so fucking tired of complaining about the same issue again and again, but will continue to do so to help future generations. It is clear that there’s still not equality, at all, nowhere. Fucking tired of it. Women deserve better.
There, feeling - slightly - better. Thanks for listening.