To think boss shouldn’t guilt me for attending work party?

[reggye]

I work in a very long hours stressful environment. I work directly with my boss in a pair. We had a big deadline due on a project. I am still training - my boss is over 10 years qualified.

I got into the office at 06:00 and my boss got in at 10:00. At 20:00 my boss said we were ready to submit the project, just waiting for one last confirmation and review before we could click send. So we can just go home or go to the party.

The big annual work party started at 17:30. From 17:00 I had no additional tasks outstanding, so I was essentially sitting there for hours waiting just incase something cropped up that I could do.

At 20:00 my boss asked if I was going to the party. I said I would probably go for one drink, work depending. He said he wasn’t in the mood to go.

Then just before he left, he said to me he thought it was ridiculous that a junior would be going to the work party and a manager had to hang around to submit a project. Essentially making me feel bad for going to the party at 20:00, despite being in the office since 06:00 and exhausted.

I am not authorised to submit the project in any case

Your work environment sounds toxic. I presume that being in work for 14 hrs is paid appropriately? And if this is a daily occurrence the appropriate working time directive protocols have been followed?

We have to opt out of working time protocols. I was working until 11pm the night before my 6am start too. This is the worst I’ve had it - others do all nighters. Which is fine as when qualified the salary is very very high and people tend to just do it for a few years.

I am a senior manager and I would have let you go to the party once your part is complete.if the task is my overall responsibility - I have to stay. That is what I am paid for.

Parties are there for staff engagement

Are you in a Big 4 OP? I lasted just 2 years. My physical and mental health was shot to pieces.

You’re a trainee solicitor I’m guessing?

I even offered to stay to submit or be available after the party to work, just a phone call away. I was so exhausted.

Trainee solicitor?

Your boss sounds like resentful, unprofessional prick

They can't actually make you opt out of the working time directive. You can rescind your opt out. They are also obliged to make sure you have 11 hours off between when you leave work and are meant to arrive. If it's anything like where I used to work they'll try and hide the former and will totally ignore the latter.

You just have to accept it's toxic, maintain your self esteem, set boundaries that don't get you sacked and take what you want and then get out.

Stop letting yourself be treated like a mug for someone who wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you dropped dead.

The presenteeism in law is ridiculous and doesn’t get you anywhere I work in consultancy now (assuming it is law).

There are also a lot of martyrs in law who make out they have no choice but to work like that. Over work that’s rarely that important. Not life and death.

You can opt out of the 48 working week average. (It was included as standard in the contract i signed about 4 months ago.)

You can't opt out of the required breaks during work (i.e. 20 minutes if you work at least 6 hours) and the breaks between work shifts. (11 hours.)

If you’re in a big law or accountancy firm and are a trainee working in a transactional team , this is slightly more unusual now - the attitude, not the hours. You need to be pretty good on low sleep and show willing to get stuff over the line. If these hours aren’t for you, fair enough. You’ll have to choose a non transactional role when you qualify and accept lower ( but still pretty great) pay. There are always trade offs.

His attitude sucks! Suspect he was tired and cranky and taking it out on you. However he probably didn’t realise how tired you were if you were talking about going to the party. It’s very common for people at all levels to
miss social events and even holidays if work demands. That’s the pay off for huge salaries. You get nothing for free! .

If he went and left you to submit, it would look awful on him. He sounds like a prick.

He sounds like a twat. He was taking out his own stress and anger on you. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

I am getting the impression of a city law firm.

I’m also a lawyer, but in the civil service. Where I work, it would always been the well paid person who would do any unsociable or extra hours, or would have to miss out on a party, rather than the junior one.

It was included as standard in my contract too but I crossed it out and didn't sign that bit!

It sounds like a trainee solicitor in a US law firm - or perhaps in an M&A team in a bank

either way - he shouldn’t begrudge you from going to the party

This.

The environment you work in is toxic.

Yes it’s toxic and he’s being an asshole but this is what you signed up for. You would have known before you joined that this was the deal. You are or will be incredibly well paid and in return, you are expected to devote your life to work.

There is no point moaning about the culture. Either accept it, tolerate it whilst making an exit plan or leave and work somewhere where you can have more of a work life balance but earn much less.