Yellow

[niadainud]

I'm not sure whether MN is an accurate reflection of women in general, but I'm starting to wonder how people actually function in the world.

Going by various threads on here, so many people are scared of spiders, scared of travelling, scared of driving, scared of spending the night on their own, scared of going to London, scared of answering the door, scared of looking out of the window in the dark, claustrophobic, agoraphobic, germophobic, incapable of doing anything without their DH, scared of anyone saying anything challenging ("be kind!") and generally triggered by everything under the sun.

I'm no stranger to anxiety, but AIBU to wonder whether it's normal to be terrified of so many minor things?

You’re not wrong.

Totally agree with you.

I know!

Imagine being a strong capable woman - something woman have fought for for centuries - they’ve got all the opportunities woman have spent years fighting for yet are incapacitated (or even pretending to be)

You might have a point if there were truckloads of posters who all have all of those fears. But I'm not particularly surprised or worried that all humans have a few things they're afraid of, including some irrational, or that a small proportion live lives governed by anxiety.

This. I was phobic of flying for years, but none of the others. Regularly travel to places I'm sure you, OP, would worry about. My job is pretty scary too!

But if you add me to the people with other, specific fears, you can pretend everyone is weak compared to you. Which is fun so carry on if you enjoy it.

It’s definitely not an accurate reflection of women in general.

But the thing is, if you are in a good place are you likely to start a thread on Mumsnet? What would you say? I’m so happy and confident, work is going well, my relationship is a dream and the kids are thriving and I know exactly what I should/want to do next…

Oh I've just realised this is a TAAT and you're being an arse to another poster. Bad form.

I broadly agree with you, but then I spot yet another thread about spiders and I despair.

Well that's just one of many, many examples, so not sure whether it counts as a TAAT.

I don't mean to be an arse, but women being so mimsy all the time is exasperating.

No that's true, and perhaps I should try to be more empathetic as I simply can't imagine starting a thread about a spider, unless perhaps it was an enormous tarantula.

I think perhaps it's not the phobia but the drama that riles me - which is of course my problem (although judging by a recent spider thread I think I'm far from being alone here).

Phobias generally aren't rational. I take it you have none yourself to be so dismissive?

I'm terrified of spiders but I travel alone; walk by myself at night, answer & make traditional phone calls, book my own appointments, go in my garden at night, go to London & other cities whenever (alone), look out my window at night, answer the door, stand up to aggressive men, deal with dirt, small spaces and public speaking...

Oh and I'm shy & live with anxiety.

What's your point?

Well that's great, and I mean that sincerely. I think fear of flying is fairly rational, but good on you for not letting it curtail your life.

My point, I suppose, is that I don't think it does women, either individually or collectively, any favours to start shrieking the place down if they see a spider (for example). But I could just be empathy-phobic.

I think this is a ridiculous thing to get worked up about.

Every single person has something they struggle with or are scared of. An anonymous online forum is in many ways an ideal place to post about it for advice or solidarity. That's why you see so many posts of that nature. It's venting, sharing anonymously. Not indicative of a vast swathe of scaredy cats.

It certainly sounds like you might be.

Fair point that it's skewed in that respect.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now. Even though I'm alone in the house.

Tbh op I hope you're ok because I tend to find that when people are this unsympathetic and offended by others it's generally because there is something going on causing unhappiness. Even if they're too busy to realise just how unhappy they are.