I am currently in a minor dispute with my ex about me wanting to take our child away during school term.
We both believe in our stance and i would like some honest feedback from those that are impartial so that we can take this on board and move forward.
We recently went through a break up that was far from pleasant, i wont go into the details because it is irrelevant, however, this wasn't my doing and the reason i raise this is to make you all aware that things are still raw.
Ideally, we would both do what is in the interest of our child but sometimes personal issues between us surface and make things a little more difficult than things probably should be.
Our child attends nursery. He's three years old. This is is second year that he's attended school, this is a new school with new classmates however.
His mother is his main carer. She is a stay at home parent. So our child is only at school for 15 hours a week.
He attends for 5 days so he's there for 3 hours a day. 8.30am until 11.30am.
I have him for 3 days a week, his mother for 4.
My time with him is from thursday at 5pm until Sunday at 11am, so i only take him and pick him back up from school on Friday's.
I am wanting to take him from school on Wednesday 9th October. So a day earlier than usual. I have things planned to take him away and drop him back off when i take him to school on Monday 14th October, a day later than usual.
In total i'll be having him 2 days extra.
In total he will be missing 6 hours at school.
My ex's argument for not allowing this is as follows..
He's not going on holiday during school time.. there is an upcoming holiday end of October.. why not then?
His education is more important.
He's new to school and he's settling in.
He's in a routine.
She has a meeting with school on Monday and she will be bringing this up.. she does not agree with this and i am going against her wishes.
The extra days are without her consent.
My argument is as follows..
I would take him during the holidays.. but i can't due to work commitments.
I have tried already and been rejected.
I want to take him for a specific reason.. it only happen's this time of year and the only holiday available before Christmas is unfortunately unavailable to me.
He is 3. He will be missing 6 hours. It is not a legal requirement for him to attend school at his age, and education is not just at school it can be done outside of school also, especially for a child of his age, that's why school's have school trips.. because they are clearly beneficial to a child.
I do not need her consent. It is not a legal requirement as i stated before, i have parental responsibility and we do not have set days.
There is no rota. no schedule. We tend to stick to me having him 3 n her 4 most weeks but we have always been flexible.
I do not need her consent, and she doesnt need mine either.
When she took him away it was over his birthday weekend.. his birthday was Monday.. i was at work.
I disagree'd for obvious reasons.
She did it regardless, she didn't need my consent.
I am taking him somewhere that is specifically about our child.
It is in his interest, not mine.
It is solely catered around him.. his hobbies and interests, not mine.
I believe i am doing what is best for our son, my ex also believes she is doing what is best for our son.
Need some feedback here, we both feel like we are going round in circles with this and hopefully we can resolve it amicably, rather than arguing about it.
We do not argue in person, but we do not discuss this in person either.
Our child has no idea about this or any discussions or disagreements we have had about it.
He will not be dissapointed if this does not go ahead.