To not want to run this meeting at work?

[6789ghj]

At work I have a pretty junior, entry-level role which suits me as I just do work quietly in the background. My manager is going on maternity leave very soon, and so she has been training other members of the team to take some of her workload whilst she is off so that it doesn't all sit with me. There have been a lot of delays with training the colleagues on the processes, and as a result it is now looking like she won't be able to run the main training session before she goes on maternity leave and they want me to run it instead. I was put on the spot in the middle of a meeting when asked if I would run the session and I agreed. I am now up all night worrying about it.

I have never ran a meeting before. It will be to a whole team (around 15 people) and will be recorded and sent around the wider company too. I have social anxiety which is really severe. I will get stress hives and start dreading meetings days in advance. I have tried medication and therapy and nothing helps (I do wonder if it is autism for other reasons too) - only saying this to give context that this is not just a bit of shyness that can be easily overcome. I quit my last job because of something similar to this.

Do you think I could ask if my manager could run the session as a recording, and I be available for any questions? Or something? I want to phrase it in a way that doesn't make me look bad, but I will probably come off badly no matter what...

Talk to your manager and tell her how nervous you are about it. Ask for her help in preparing and tell her what would help you do a better job at the meeting. That might be her pre-recording parts of it, but I’m sure she will have other ideas as well.

Thank you, I will try and speak to her about it. I don't want to come across as unprofessional... I have been in an awful mood all weekend because of it. I have hives all over my neck and chest and keep crying about silly things.

Your manager obviously trusts and has faith in your abilities. But, this is something you are not comfortable with so do talk to her. Tell your manager what you have said here.

What I think is really positive is you have thought about a possible solution to how you are feeling and you aren’t just saying ‘ no I can’t’ .
As a manager this would be really helpful to me, you have ideas and initiative to provide an alternative approach.

No one should feel anxious about something at work - please ask for support and have the conversation - this will also hopefully provide your manager with some ideas on how to coach and help you in the future.

Also @6789ghj do you have some access through work for some therapeutic / counselling support eg CBT.

I know you say you have done this in the past but that may help you ?

Its a lot to put on you and she will know its your first time. You are only worrying because you want it to be a success. I'm sure if you explain it to her how bad you are with the nerves then I'm sure she'll understand and just may be this time it could be done differently? perhaps you have some good ideas how it could be done? Could she do it before she finishes and you record it so all you have to do is relay it to the 15 people, surely this could be set up this way for all training sessions with a question answer at the end and for updates? I don't know what business you are in but its got to be a better use of time and resources.