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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed about friends comment on DS playing with a toy sword

21 replies

oydal · 21/04/2008 19:44

DS likes to dress up like a pirate or police man and fight imaginary "badies". Apparently he will grow up to be 'violent' according to my neighbour.

My DS will make a laser/gun/sword out of a rolled up piece of paper or anything else he can find. He's 4 and has a fantastic imagination, amusing himself for hours.

I strongly incourage imaginative play but is it really that bad for kids to play with these toys?

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 21/04/2008 19:46

i dont think so. all little boys (and girls)enjoy playing like this, doesnt mean they will become thugs!

mrsmaddyd · 21/04/2008 19:46

Boys will be Boys and let them be.

I tried to get a power rangers gun for my Ds but he shunned it wanting a book instead.

gscrym · 21/04/2008 19:47

Mine has decided that he's going to grow up to be a jedi. He makes light sabers out of anything.

I know the playgroup I went to banned making guns from sticklebricks. I don't remember this, my mum helped out there.

TurkeyLurkey · 21/04/2008 19:48

What a load of twaddle. Mosty boys I know do this sword thing at some point aged around 3-6 ish, and in no way have any of them turned out to be violent. Ignore her.

OverMyDeadBody · 21/04/2008 19:50

No it's not bad, your neighbour is talking tosh.

Imaginative play is very healthy and these kind of games, as well as being fun and fantastical, can also help children deal with fears of 'baddies' that they may have.

avenanap · 21/04/2008 19:50

It's wrong to assume what anyone's kids will grow up to be like, especially not someone elses. It's your child, it's down to you to decide what he plays with.

brimfull · 21/04/2008 19:51

she's talking bollocks

it's like telling girls they can't play with dolls (although my dd never did),lots of boys love it and it is inherent in them

some kids like playing with weapons,it's a game not real

gegs73 · 21/04/2008 19:54

Its all rot, boys make swords out of anything even if you don't let them have the real toy ones and it doesn't mean anything. I presume your friend is either childless or has girls?

Original poster

oydal · 21/04/2008 19:58

Yes, she has one girl.

OP posts:

tortoiseSHELL · 21/04/2008 19:59

It's rubbish.

There is a brilliant bit in Sally Magnusson's book where she describes giving her ds and her dd some wooden pegs to play with. Her dd cradled the peg and called it her baby, her ds shot her with it!

Lauriefairycake · 21/04/2008 20:01

Yeah, load of old crap.

Tell her her daughter will grow up to be a housewife if she continues playing with dolls

Original poster

oydal · 21/04/2008 20:01

Brilliant! I'll have to get that book and leave it lying around open on that page next time she's visiting.

OP posts:

Givemeasofthandledbroom · 21/04/2008 20:02

At the point that my eldest son was eating his toast into a gun shape and pretending to shoot the dog (he was about 2 - the son not the dog!) I gave up on the NO WEAPONS philosophy.

I am glad to say that I have 2 well adjusted son's who are not violet and I am as sure as one can be not likely to murder anyone!

I think your neighbour is talking utter rubbish.

Stick to your guns! (sorry couldn't resist it!)

lilQuidditchKel · 21/04/2008 20:03

depends on the child. my nephew (6) has violent tendencies and giving him a play sword, gun, or weapon of any kind is like giving crack to a drug addict. asking for trouble. However I'm sure there are loads of boys who are able to just 'play' without being a real danger to anyone else.

i tend to resist judgments by passersby as they're probably ignorant of the child's temperament.

that being said, to allow any boy a toy weapon is not necessarily wise...

tigermoth · 21/04/2008 20:06

She is being unreasonable - smile but take no notice or tell her about the importance of imaginative play for children. (Have you seen Son of Rambow btw? your son is a bit too young to enjoy it, but it's a great film)

scottishmum007 · 21/04/2008 20:16

tell your neighbour to get a hobby. what is the world coming to when kids cant have fun anymore, making up their own wee games.you should buy your son loads of toys swords and guns, the bigger the better and let him play in the garden til his hearts content.

Kimi · 21/04/2008 20:29

I grew up playing cowboys and Indians with my cousins and friends. As yet I have not shot anyone with a gun or a bow and arrow of tied anyone to a tree.

P.C gone mad when children can not use their imagination anymore.

(did try banning war toys when I had my two but they shot each other with bananas )

hecate · 21/04/2008 20:30

I used to be like that. Toy weapons will make them violent, my sons will not have anything like that. What kind of parent encourages that sort of behaviour....

I used to stop people giving them anything weaponlike, if they were given an action man for example, I would take away his gun before letting them have it. Their cowboy outfits - well, the gun went in the bin! That sort of thing. They never owned a toy weapon, they never played with a toy weapon, they never saw a toy weapon.

Then one day I walked in on them sword fighting with a pair of straws.

I never threw another weapon in the bin.

arthursmum · 21/04/2008 20:36

LOL givemeasofthandledbroom, my 2.5 year old DS does exactly the same thing with his toast. Although he does give me pretend CPR after he has shot me!

Spink · 21/04/2008 20:49

agree with lilquidditch, depends on the child and the context that the gun/sword etc play is in...
I think some playgroups & nurseries have no gun play type policies, because they don't know what might be going on for the children in their care.... I used to work in a nursery which catered largely for children with emotional and behavioural problems, and because some of them had violent backgrounds (and might be very scared or disturbed by 'violent play') there was a policy of no playfights.

shatteredmumsrus · 21/04/2008 20:58

I used to be a bit paranoid about my 2 boys playing with guns and swords etc. I put it down to all the shootings on the news. Me stupidly thinking if i discouraged it they wouldnt get into that 'scene'. I slowly began to realise that there is nothing wrong with them playing cowboys with guns and swords like Jack Sparrow! They are just children so let them behave like children. My mom put me straight one day and said that my brother had guns 36 years ago pretending to be a cowboy and nothings changed. I do understand the 'no policy' and such like in nurseries etc though but when they in your care let them use their imagination!Just ignore that ridiculous comment.

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