To cancel going to work night out

[EllieThirsk]

My employer has given everyone money towards a meal out with their department as a thank you.

My department booked an activity for a Friday evening in November instead of a meal and the venue is 2.5 hrs away from where I live. We will pay for our own dinner/drinks while there plus transport getting there/home. I looked at hotels but they are £200+ for the night so a colleague offered me their spare room which I agreed to.

Now reality is hitting and I don't particularly want to go. I'm mid 40s if that makes a difference. In retrospect, I would have preferred a meal out somewhere central to everyone although we weren't given that option.

AIBU to say I'm no longer going? It won't impact anyone else but I'll look flaky as have cancelled in the past due to social anxiety, I know I shouldn't be bothered about what others think but it does play on my mind.

Don’t go. Most work do’s are best avoided. 🙄

@EllieThirsk you can’t be the only person who thinks this is awful

also wonder what HR think.

None of this is your fault and you shouldn't be feeling bad about it. Just say you would have enjoyed the meal out that was originally going to happen, but the 'activity' is not something you enjoy so you won't be going.

You're giving oodles of notice so I don't think you'll come over as flakey.

It's ok not to go, but for the sake of office-politics, I'd make up an excuse that can't be resolved (needy relative / tickets for something...) so your colleagues don't feel like they're being snubbed. Yes it was a bit crap of them to organise things this way, but they probably thought it would be fun, so there's not much to be gained from making it clear that they've ballsed-up. Then next time, find a diplomatic way of steering them into something more practical at the planning stage.

I wouldn't go - it's a long way, a lot of time/money and an activity you're not especially keen on doing.

I would just say you have looked at logistics and it isn't going to work for you.

I don't go on work nights out - usually hideous affairs that are best avoided.

but why on earth did none of you say anything at the time if you didn't really want to do it?
I don't understand how the conversation went, how it started 'company are paying for us to go for a meal locally,' and ended up 'no lets go go-karting 2 and a half hours away and pay for our own food and drinks and transport?'

Yes it was a bit cheeky of the 1st person to suggest the alternative, but you're all adults working a job professional enough to get rewarded, it would only have taken 1 other person to go 'No I don't fancy that, let's stick with the original plan seeing as it's a reward for all of us and if you want to go-karting we can organise it separately.'
If you all nodded and went along with person 1 you're as much to blame as them and tbh it's a bit rude to back out now.