To tell a work collegue that I have no intention of putting my six year old in for the 11+

[ReallyTired]

The grammar school in question takes the top 2% of children in the area. I don't think my son is in the top two percentage and even if he was a lot of the places go to the excessively coached private school kids.

The school is wuite a long way away and there is no direct bus. It would be a nightmare to get to.

I see no point in signing my son up for two years of tutoring. Especially as every other kid I know who has tried for the particular grammar school has failed. 0ne kid who failed the particular exam went on to get 11 GCSEs at the state comprehensive a year early.

I would rather my son put effort into learning a sport or a muscial instrument.

My work collegue thinks that I have low expectations of my son. She thinks I am writing him off at the age of six and denying him opportunities.

Oh, your work colleague needs to chill the fuck out!

YANBU!!!

I agree completely with MrsMattie.

Have been told off by another mother about schools myself (ds is 3 ffs)

Tell your work colleague to f* off. There is more than one way to educate a child, and not all children are the same.

I'm getting a lot of suppressed and over the choice of secondary for my DS#1 and it's beginning to irritate me ....

My neighbour seems aghast that we are going to send our son to one of the perfectly reasonable local primary schools, rather than go private or stamp our feet and make a big fuss about him going to a better school further away. I just grit my teeth and smile sweetly, all the while thinking 'You really are slightly psyhco aren't you?'

I hate these pushy people who think they know best for your children. YANBU

And whose child is this?

Tell her to mind her own business.

mrsmattie - the school we've chosen had a very bad rep 5 years ago. But there is a new head and it's improving hugely and when we looked round it seemed to fit with DS#1 perfectly. But everyone seems to think it's still the same school it was way back when...I get fed up of repeating the same old mantra time and again. 'They've got a really good new head. The discpline is much better than it was. Results are much better. It's a very small school. It's good a very friendly atmosphere.... etc' I just smile and change the subject now.

Completely understand what you're saying. We do the 11+ in this borough and dd did do it, but she wasn't coached and she did it because wharever school she eneded up at, they would use her results to stream her. She didn't get a selective place, but she was lucky enough to get into the school that has both selective and non-selective students and her marks gave her the opportunity to be placed in a 'shaddow' grammar class straight away. She also has the potential to be moved into a Grammar class. If she had not taken the 11+, its very possible she wouldn't have got this school.

Your DS is still only 6 and things change. You might find when he's 11 that he needs to be in the Grammar school because he's capable of being there, so it may not be wise to tell everyone in rl your feeling now, in case you want to change your mind nearer the time!

It's your child. You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone.

Will the 11+ still be going when your 6yr old is the age to do it?

My dd is 6 & over here (NI)the 11+ will be abolished the year after next.

you know your own boy,not some arsey competitive woman.for people like this there is always something to crow and compete about

Does this person actually have children?